Searching for unrequited
harmony,
I find myself
wandering sleazy motel
hallways and seeking solace
in the Do Not Disturb
signs.
Author notes
prompt: 20 words
it's very random =)
A contest entry
- 20 Words by Perfectly Imperfect.
450 points, ended March 30, 2008, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
I like it. Very very simple, but instead of just being boring, the word choice is... how do I put it, clean.
-
this has great imagery. i'd assume this was a picture prompt contest except they're no picture!
-
-
no, actually there was no prompt at all...came straight from my twisted head =)
-
-
I like this a lot. Really good imagery within this piece. Well done.
All the best
Wayne Leon
-
unrequited harmony
nice use of oxymoron here
this is random maybe, but has interesting connotations.
Odd, but interesting
Cheers, James
-
Random? Nothings random I'm sure if your train of thought lead up to it, it wasn't random to you
Great job by utilising an strong image to get across your emotions (can you say, snapshot?)
One suggestion:
wandering sleazy motel
hallways and finding solace
Personally in my opinion I felt the line breaking between motel and hallways was a little choppy
May want to fix that up
Wonderful pennings.. good luck in the contest.
-
-
it's funny that you just said that, because I just changed one of the words around because it was bothering me =)
-
-
is wicked 
-
-
-
Very random indeed but brought a much needed smile.
-
Random but great, I really like this Well done and thank you for entering x
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
