Robin

wet autumn leaves strewn about
suffocating the earth and
clinging to cars and sidewalks
the reds, oranges, and brown
blending together like paint
blotched onto a big white canvas
it smells like an odd moment
from childhood that paralyzes the present
injecting nostalgia into my
senses and thoughts until i
cannot see anything but her
beautiful face. her askew teeth
poking in all directions into
an innocent smile.

it's been years since it was that way
dressed up like a soldier
accepting the bitter future
she'd find reflected in her hazel eyes
some solemn day.
i think i went as a playing card
gambling to buy a few more years
everyday of my life.
i was the queen of hearts
trudging through the freezing rain
stabbing at my bare arms and
running the make-up covering
my attributes and idiosyncracies

you looked at me just smiled
your toothy grin like a true soldier.
a plastic orange pumpkin full
of suckers, gum, and chocolate
soon to be strewn across the
green shiny carpet.
parting piles of candy to find
her some Almond Joys.
you've grown so beautifully, so fast
as if the fast forward button was jammed.

i've grown so ugly
grotesquely becoming a cockroach
desperately shivering under the couch
evading shoes and newspaper rolls
too afraid to be exactly who i am.
you sighed when you saw what i'd become
your teeth always hidden by your lips
but i knew you'd be there to cash in my chips
to skip with me in the pouring rain
to accept my cocoanut candies as love
to fend off exterminators.

you smiled and told me you were hideous
i reached through the darkness
and pulled you into the light.
perfectly aligned white teeth
modestly peeked out if your lips.
i never saw what you did anyhow.