Who am I
is that for me to know
I change from day to day
and from day to day I grow
I am a man
who is young and Bold
trying to live my life
before I get old
Three years now I have lived
out of my fathers home
my life is ticking away
like a steady metronome
The decisions I make now
are completely on their own
but through my raising I
will never make them alone
I can see myself change
as the hours pass
sometimes I wanna know who will be
at the end of the hourglass
Will I become a man
that will make my father proud
my flesh and heavenly
that lives above every cloud
or will i become
chained by greed
lusting over objects
not willing to be freed
what if this life
I live now in loves embrace
in time will pass and take with it
every care in my face
I was raised by example
through the definition of love
and great influence from
the one who lives above
Who am I
and who will I become
will it help to look at
where I have come from
Author notes
My second poem ever written. For me poetry is about self awareness. This poem helped me to uncover some fears that I have and answered some questions. I hope that you will comment on this poem and let me know what you liked and didn't like. I want to see my poetry get better and the only way that will happen is from criticism from people who write themselves.
Comments
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O man, this is really good. I love the whole thing, but your ending.......man, it bought it together. Perfect in my eyes. Well done.
I was raised by example
through the definition of love
and great influence from
the one who lives above
Who am I
and who will I become
will it help to look at
where I have come from
-
i have asked myself this many times. and i dont think i have found an entire answer yet (hence my name ^.^). this write is very well written. it shows that you are wise, and thoughtful. Niaish(thank you) for sharing this with us. You are very very talented. keep it up!
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WHO HAS NOT ASKED THEMSELF THIS QUESTION? FROM YOUR WORDS I HAVE A FEELING YOU ARE A WISE MAN. SOME PEOPLE SAY TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME I SAY TAKE IT ONE MOMENT AT A TIME AND ENJOY. EXCELLENT WRITE. I LOOK FORWARD TO READING YOUR THIRD POEM GOD BLESS
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This is brilliant for your second poem ever!! Wow...
It has great flow and rhythm to it. Your rhyme is excellent.
I think anyone who questions themselves like this... is already on the right path! It shows a deep soul and a spirit that searches for answers to the big questions. That in itself means you are heading in the right direction... and will be aware of any pitfalls.
For me, poetry also is about self awareness!!! Yay!
It sounds like you have had a great example in your life...
Change is constant... and it's how we adapt to it that shows our strength of character!
I really liked this piece, and I honestly have no criticisms of it!
Keep writing.. I look forward to many many more!
Jackie
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