the ebb and flow of joy and woe
of mice and mouse like men
weave knots of silver into string
while celestial bodies spin
the raining storm in a whirling swarm
pounds the teaming earth
harshly feeding tiny wings
who flutter into mirth
the reaper sheds his mask of bone
and dons a springtime robe
moving swiftly through the fields
casting seeds of stone
they sprout with tiny fingers
and tiny little toes
slowly growing into beings
possessing tiny little souls
A contest entry
- Life is a game! Get it?....No you don't. Just Come Look. by Ishtar.
600 points, ended April 21, 17 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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i really like this and well done on the gold
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You've played on almost every poetic device that I enjoy!
Quiet a smooth flow from top to end (Minus the tiny stagger on the last line in the first stanza)!
Thank you much for your entry and best of luck!
-Reni -
I really liked this.
I'm not sure about this line though,
the ebb and flow of joy and woe
of mice and mouse like men
For me, the mouse just disarrays the flow of the writing.
Other than that, very beautifully written.
Best of luck in the contest.
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I love this poem! i haven't kept up with reading your poetry and i need too!! amazing! i can't wait to read more.......
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A very fine write, my friend. I really enjoyed the imagery, rhythm and rhyme. Hope all is going well with you.
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this was quite inventive.
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I like the mental voice of this poet inside your head, as well as your others... being creative, I did a creative reading... http://allpoetry.com/poem/4005193 (and yes, I entered it in the contest, should make for some interesting reading)...
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what fantastic meter and rhythm... a very free-flowing piece, just carried me with it. loved the sound read aloud.
beautifully done, nice
~ wendy
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