Through the Looking Glass - A Portrait of Self

A glance in the mirror and I have to look away. Who is that girl who stares back? Not the once naively, gullible child - which I loved to be - but something resembling a woman. It scares me. Her eyes- they know what evil is- and stare wisely back, while the child I once was would have shuddered and glanced away.

Is this for the better? Yes, though I feel no. Acceptance, tolerance, I feel like I've replaced my so very high standards to be accepted. Though in retrospect they are not replaced, merely not forced on other people. I'm happy, though I don't know why. Happy with life, enjoying God and content at where I am being, despite the trials within my life. But am I fooling even myself?

But what have I lost to gain this maturity? Innocence, freedom, sweetness, childishness. It's like outgrowing a baby blanket. Everyone thinks it's adorable to love that blanket, and some even encourage it, but there comes a time where that blanket is put aside for better things. Things perhaps not as soft or snuggly, probably much more rough, but people would worry if you never outgrew the secure.

"When I was a child, I spake like a child, I thought as a child, I understood as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through the glass darkly - but then face to face, now I know in part, but then shall I know even also as I am known." (I Cor. 13:11-12)

So long past, hello future
As I travel this journey called Me.
I carry little but scraps of wisdom
And the Present for company

How far ago, have my feet wandered
From my beginning of liberty
Yet upon my use of potential
Came the weight of responsibility.

How rocky this trialsome road.
Forcing patience on my calloused feet.
My hands tremble from gripping my staff
As I fight up this steep Ravine called maturity.

But I wouldn't have it any other way.
And I smile at the girl in the mirror.