White dawn
ivory winds
billowing through desolate
countryside offering muted
holy peace
flapping
hundreds; of wings
echoing through heavens
vast corridor of skies above
fair hymn
silent
blanched feathers
drifting lazily, from pale
fingertips of dusty angles
ever cease
felled
brightened sun
take claim to softened
pallet, wherest you shall slumber
in peace
Author notes
I have never written a cinquain before.. It was really hard. But, I think (personally) I did pretty good...
But, I'm not really sure what you are suppose to do with them.. so I gave it my best shot. [wow... I just now noticed... that no where in the poem, did I say the actual subject I was writing on...... ]
It also reminds me of this poem I wrote along time ago:
http://allpoetry.com/poem/3776768
What do you say?
XD
In a list
A contest entry
- 48 hour cinquain contest by azure85.
600 points, ended March 5, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Be honest here.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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hey, i just wanna say thanks heaps for commenting on my poem! i really appreciate it!
to be perfectly honest with you, i hadn't heard of a cinquain poem before reading this, so i had to do a little bit of research before i could fully understand it! but, having said that, i think you have done an excellent job here, especially considering this is your first attemp! you should be very proud.
i also loved the themes you presented with this, and the flow and the poem was beautifully pulled off and just made it sound so nice when read, so congratulations! you did really well
thanks for sharing!
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Absolutely beautiful
very nicely done. It is apparent what you were writing about because of the great imagery. I could actually see the angels and falling feathers as symbolism. That is a hard style to master and it seems you are well on your way to mastering it. Keep it up!
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You have done well for a first time, each cinquain is written very well and tells a story. The subject is gleamed form your well chosen words, thank you so much.
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Warmer of cold lonly night, you bid me good night, and my dreams will b filld with you soft tenderness and vivid imagination.
Beautiful.
Blessed Be
Allura -
this is nicely done. good imagery too. keep it up. you have found a style you can most certainly do well with.
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Yeah, this is one tough form. I think you definitely succeed though. I got the vibe that this was about angels as well. Loved it!
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I must be honest. I have never really learned any poetic forms (other than the sonnnet, but really who hasn't?). However, I thought this was very well with extraordinary imagery. You do not say what the topic is, but that just lends it over to the imagination. I assume they were Angels, but the imagery of the flapping wings holds its own. Well done!
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