I look at the sky, black clouds roll in.
I close my eyes as the rain comes down,
Tears melt into the rain.
I wonder about death, are you waiting for me by those golden gates in the sky?
I think about yesterday and keep asking 'why?'
I lie on the ground only six feet from you,
My tears water the grass.
I wonder if the world will go on...
Author notes
This is NOT personal, I thankfully did not have to live through this.
A contest entry
- Let's Get the Ink Flowing!!! by Auburn Sunrise.
1800 points, ended March 16, 2008, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pain In Poetry by Jadis Blade.
450 points, ended April 11, 2008, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Wanna Feel Your Pain by slippingofftheedge.
300 points, ended August 15, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Love it
It is amazing yet terrible sad. I lovee how you can write about something thats never happened to you and make the reader feel for you. I have to disagree about line 7 though personaliy that is my favorite line.
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Wow... heart-wrenching!
Thankfully, I have never had to live through this either. I can't imagine what it was like for those poor kids who survived such an earth-shattering tragedy.
Line 3: "mealt" should be "melt"
I'm not so certain I like the line "my tears help water the grass"... it kind of detracts from the somber tone of the poem.
I don't have any better suggestions at the moment, and it doesn't necessarily ruin the poem, but I think you could do better.
Love the ending line. Everyone wonders that after they lose someone they care about.
Well done. Thank you for entering!
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