I fell...
and your sturdy, extended limb lifted my bones
and ultimately my soul.
I trudged through thorny paths
better than mercenaries on wheels.
My immobility was immobilized
by a personified walking stick.
A contest entry
- THE VOTE IS BACK (this is a must vote contest) by Legend.
2400 points, ended March 19, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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I liked this for so sweetly conveying what it wants to in such limited words! Really well done.
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Very clever ...
and you kept it brief but touched well on imagery. Good luck in the contest. joy
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A wonderful take on the prompt and a joy to read.
All the best in the contest...Sue
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Very interesting and metaphorical, wonderful economy, all the best.
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Nice write!!! Great take on the prompt.
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This short verse started out so powerfully, and I love the direction you took with this prompt. I would like to see you tweak the last two lines. Perhaps you could say "You became my walking stick" because your use of personified is not quite correct. I also think you need to change "immobilized" to "mobilized" to indicate that you are able to move again with her help. Good luck in this contest. Peace, Liz
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By the way, this poem goes out to a very *supportive* and upbuilding friend of mine. She's like a walking stick!
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Nicely done and a wonderful take on the prompt...so much said in so few words, but rings out loud and clear. Lovely job here! Good luck in the contest.
Shaz xx
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I wondered about adding this object to the list This piece shows me that i was right to do so.It says far more that the few words used The sign of a good poet.Paint a picture with just enough strokes to show the viewer the whole picture Thank you for your entry Good luck in the contest
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I really like your take on the prompt... the beginning was my favorite part... and the imagery was well crafted
Keep writing
Polly
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Best wishes in the contest!
Write on!
*PEACE*
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I like this line-
"I trudged through thorny paths
better than mercenaries on wheels."
I can tell, you're going you're going to grow into a strong poet here at AP
all the best
(pssst, it too early fi drop sum vernacular inna the comment dem?)
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AP NUH REDDI FI DI DRAMA YET!!!!!! BUSHKASH! LOL
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