bearded dragon-
stares at me
from his tank
Author notes
this one is about my bearded dragon and how he just stays still all day until i feed him
A contest entry
- Haikuesque by Saltpeter.
300 points, ended March 2, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Hah! Love this.
Different schools of rules for word count, this is still a great form with minimal count.
In Asian glyphics, you wouldn't need the hyphen.
The words still make an impact.
Terrific.
. I'll be laughing at all those hopping folklettes this summer, thinking of this.
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This is a good haiku Well done here very well done!!!
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thank you
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haiku
Hello there. I like this haiku - it captures a scene with a couple of clear images.
It works fine as it is, but you could think about revising it a bit. One of the things a haiku does is it gives the reader a surprise or aha moment at the end.
This could work in your haiku if you reversed the lines:
he stares at me
from his tank -
bearded dragon
What do you think?
BJ.
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bearded dragon
LOL, this is an interesting haiku.
after reading your comments i thought it might be a good idea for you to put the lizard into the haiku. your first two lines are good images, but your final line is an opinion, so maybe the lizard can go into that line, instead?
what do you think?
lovely stuff,
myron. -
lol!
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lol like this to its good he probley waits for those crickets all day lol
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