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crickets

bearded dragon-
stares at me
from his tank

Author notes

this one is about my bearded dragon and how he just stays still all day until i feed him

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • xxBlack Dawnxx
    September 29
    Edit | Reply
    i love bearded dragons


  • cloe009
    March 17
    Edit | Reply
    that is so cool


  • HorrorFiend
    January 22
    Edit | Reply
    Pretty poem. Dragons are fun. Haikus are fun. Well done.


  • Sagittarius silver member
    January 11
    Edit | Reply

    Nice

    Graphic ... but not. Good work.


  • Swan song gold member
    December 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Good haiku a very good haiku


  • CookieZeal Greeters member
    April 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hah! Love this.

    Different schools of rules for word count, this is still a great form with minimal count.
    In Asian glyphics, you wouldn't need the hyphen.
    The words still make an impact.

    Terrific. . I'll be laughing at all those hopping folklettes this summer, thinking of this.

  • Swan song gold member
    April 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is a good haiku Well done here very well done!!!


  • ukelova
    March 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    haiku

    Hello there. I like this haiku - it captures a scene with a couple of clear images.

    It works fine as it is, but you could think about revising it a bit. One of the things a haiku does is it gives the reader a surprise or aha moment at the end.

    This could work in your haiku if you reversed the lines:

    he stares at me
    from his tank -
    bearded dragon

    What do you think?

    BJ.


  • myron silver member
    March 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    bearded dragon

    LOL, this is an interesting haiku.

    after reading your comments i thought it might be a good idea for you to put the lizard into the haiku. your first two lines are good images, but your final line is an opinion, so maybe the lizard can go into that line, instead?

    what do you think?



    lovely stuff,
    myron.


  • DogFish silver member
    March 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    lol!


  • Brooklynn Tainted gold member
    March 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    lol like this to its good he probley waits for those crickets all day lol

1 - 12 of 12