A soft and tender feeling on a soft and tender day
When I dreamed that I was lying in your arms
I woke, my senses reeling, in a most exciting way
And it seemed that I was basking in your balms
A special scent that lingered, filled my mind with "joie de vivre"
I was smiling from the deepest part of me
I was sure I had been fingered, by a love that would not leave
That was piling all its tenderness on me
I knew I'd seen the roses, as we walked out hand in hand
And I sensed that I had plucked the best for you
Without the least supposes I knew that you'd understand
As we fenced to find the rest that we would do
Now I'm well awake and happy and my grin won't go away
As I know that you have dreamed of me the same
There's a warmth that's soft and sappy in the way I feel today
While you show the world the treasure that's my aim.
Author notes
Sometimes waking from a doze can be the most pleasurable sensation imaginable, so just imagine...
In a list
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lovely
a very sweet scene indeed that fills the imagination while leaving room for more... wishing you more than dreams and words but the real thing indeed =) -
SOme dreams seem so realistic, and we are sorry to wake up from these wonderful fantasy adventures. Liked the flow and the images this presents.
. Rewarded 4
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I can relate to this peice very well. Its a very good poem. I like the flow nad your descriptions that you have put into it.
Loves
. Rewarded 4
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I like the part "I was smiling from the deepest part of me".. There is nothing like a euphoric dream. Great poem!
. Rewarded 4
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I keep wondering in line 3 if you mean 'exiting' or 'exciting'. I seem to think exciting fits the flow as well as meaning better.
The other thing I see is the word 'knew' in lines 9 and 11. In line 9 you have stressed it as it is natural to speak, but in 11 one has to compensate for it being on the downstroke, or whatever technical thingy they call that.
Other than those minor sklabibbles, it's a pretty stand up poem.
. Rewarded 8
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Thank-you for that, I have corrected the typo. And while I agree with you that the stress is different with the two knews it seems to read OK to me, I shall have another look later, thanks for drawing my attention to it, there may well be a better solution.
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Smiles and you wonder why women melt in your presence. Even a dark heart like mine loves a lil wine and romance... I got some wine...
Excellent write Cap'n
. Rewarded 4
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Loved this one to bits-but then we are all of us romantics though some won't admit!
Blessings on this write Jeff babes-
xxx Hilly
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J Milton Hayes strikes again! Och mannie, you can do anything with that rhythm! I love the substantive use of "supposes" - cute and cheeky. Masterstrokes with the pen.
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you are bloody good!
How many other poets here would spot it? Someone on the train was reading a book with Katmandu in the title. It is a wonderful rhythm is it not?
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