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User Friendly

Maybe I was nothing else
Maybe I am nothing

Nothing personal
Yet I still have some questions
My mind has the right to doubt, no?
Sad stories' background
And nothing to do
A yawn, probably two
And two ideas linked
Focused on the same hatred
There was a smile
A hopeless one, though
And for the first time
The wrist cuttings
And the hate rantings
Were pleased of their existence

But it had to stop
Yes, fairy tales don't exist
But the progression was unavoidable
And we met again
Under the whining crowd, obviously
In the wrong moment
Or under the wrong words
Because my "it" didn't conceive
Cliché love words for your ego
And had to try to please you
With doomed curses and spells

And you left
Yes, you left
Nobody else has to complain
As I erased that trace of
Rotten love
One week of apathy and despair
Doubts about my destiny
But for some reason I believed
And wanted to
So I forgot about it
And greeted you
And had to prepare my dictionary
For those stupid cliché words
Because you wanted them
And not the meanings of my core

So well, you asked me for it
I didn't want to use it for reaching you
But as the time advanced
I've only noticed they had no effect
But tasteless bows
But I went on
I thought you needed me
But I had to use Japanese coding
And wait for you "What does it mean?"
To feel even needed for a while
Honestly
And the worst part
I'm giving you my love the way you want me to
But I watch you
And you're still whining
Because you're loveless
And I can't even shed a tear
For I was only born because
Doctor had to pay a bill?
I can't sip a drop of rum
And cry, yes, cry
My name means cry
Because the last time I've heard
"I love you" from the bottom
Was in a random song?
Not even sang for someone like me?

No wonder why you want me to write that way
As soon as you looked at me, saw the etiquette
"User Friendly"
And knew how to treat me
Made it work well
But why did you have to lie?
Why did I have to follow you?
Why did I let you borrow my secrets
While I know a thing or two about you
And that's what everybody does know?
[And don't say it's worthless
As someday you told me
"I understand what you feel"
Don't say you're trying me
Isn't the roundabout against my principles
Enough proof?
And don't come up with another lie
I'm tired of them
I've lived in a movie
Where people are actors
And I'm the reality show kid
Whose misery is being watched
And exploited for rating]

Author notes

I don't know how are you going to take this, but you're not loveless and that's it.

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • RX-Queen
    June 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great write,well written with a unique idea being "user friendly", I like that. Thanx for entering and good luck!


  • XXCrimsonRaineXX
    April 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This was a very interesting poem. My favorite lines were
    And for the first time
    The wrist cuttings
    And the hate rantings
    Were pleased of their existence
    The last 3 stanzas also blew me away. Excellent write, and good luck in my contest.

    XXCrimsonRaineXX


  • nobodys-girl
    April 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i loved this, i don't know what else to say but i really loved this. thankyou so much for entering my contest and best of luck!


  • Shassidy
    April 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is a great poem! I like how the emotion really comes through with it - it makes this piece more powerful. My favorite stanzas are stanzas two and six because they have the most emotion coming through, at least for me. Just a pointer - starting a line with "And" or "But" can make the line a little choppy. One thing that I noticed was that the end of this is in [], which I thought was a great and inventive idea to emphasize the ending of it. The title is creative as well, so I like that a lot too. Great job and good luck in the contest!


  • jocelynclaire
    April 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Title: 4/5- Not the best I've seen, but up there.
    Venting: 40/50- Feels more like an elegy to a lost love rather than a vent.
    My Personal Like/Dislike: 10/15- Your wording is quite awkward in places. I suggest changing the word "sang" to "sung", it really hit a nerve while reading. Otherwise, you used some fantastic phrases.
    Followed Rules: 20/20- Perfect
    Grammer/Spelling: 6/10- needs a rewrite or two, just to fix some of the chunky spots, but some wonderful things are happening.
    Total: 80/100


  • Blooming Poet
    March 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Title: 5/5- Brillent
    Venting: 40/50-lacking an umph
    My Personal Like/Dislike: 10/15- Got bored
    Followed Rules: 20/20- Perfect
    Grammer/Spelling: 5/10- Work on Flow

    Total: 80/100

  • Blooming Poet
    March 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    ALLOWED IN, BACK LATER TO REVIEW


  • PinUpLovesGreaser
    March 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow... its pretty sad, but still you shouldnt think thats its you... you've just fallen for the wrong chicks, thats all... its been awful for me too, but im still waiting to meet my prince charming

1 - 8 of 8