Jail me,
I don’t want to feel
My rust heart uneven.
Jail me,
I don’t want to see
The blaze of light that trace reality.
Jail me,
I don’t want to hear
The lies that shape the disease in my ears.
Jail me,
I don’t want you to free me
Sheath me thy being
with shackle of your heart.
A contest entry
- Giving up, Finding hope, Give it all! by darkhawk.
450 points, ended March 2, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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oOps! sorry guys. I made some corrections. I'm sorry for making you all so confused with my title. It's Jail Me not Jailed Me. heheeh. Sorry again.
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This is interesting, it flows nicely, but it just doesn't sound right in some way. I cant really put my finger on it though. At the beginning of every stanza do you mean "jail me?" or Jailed me? the rest makes a lot of sense and other than that it was a very nicely written poem. Great write and thanx for entering, good luck in the contest!
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great poem im not sure if this poem means your in jail inside or in life or just in prison but either way good write
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interstertin
it has an nice flow the words go together and it is well written but the title confuuses me like no tomooorow i cant find the meaning in i for the life of me can you explain it to me
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