In winter-time, cold winter-time
the world is hard as stone
and, longing for a kiss sublime
I lie and cry alone.
The wind that soughs through naked trees
will mock a gentler, warmer breeze.
The wind that soughs,
the wind that soughs…
Drear winter mothers my unease!
In winter-time, cold winter-time
each knifing, dragging breath
burns like the suck of foul quicklime –
the chilling touch of death!
In vain I search the skies of grey
for any warmth they may betray.
In vain I search
in vain I search…
no hint of summer comes this way.
In winter-time, cold winter-time
the whole of nature sleeps
beneath a crust of bitter rime,
and all its secrets keeps
from my faint heart; nor anything
will it vouchsafe to make me sing.
From my faint heart
from my faint heart…
I die until returning spring.
Author notes
This poem is one quarter [Season] of a 4-part venture.
Other poems, by different authors, in this series of poems, are as follows:
"Autumn Days" by Sue Cardwell
http://allpoetry.com/poem/3975681
"Summertime" by Laura Lamarca
http://allpoetry.com/poem/3973195
"When Spring Is Here" by cricketjeff
http://allpoetry.com/poem/3975245
All poems are truly worthy of your comments and applause.
A Trijan Refrain (as explained by Laura Lamarca)
The Trijan Refrain, created by Jan Turner, consists of three 9-line stanzas, for a total of 27 lines. Line 1 is the same in all three stanzas, although a variation of the form is not to repeat the same line at the beginning of each stanza. In other words, the beginning line of each stanza can be different. The first four syllables of line 5 in each stanza are repeated as the double-refrain for lines 7 and 8.
The Trijan Refrain is a rhyming poem with a set meter and rhyme scheme as follows:
Rhyme scheme: a/b/a/b/c/c/d,d refrain of first 4 words of line five /c
Meter: 8/6/8/6/8/8/4,4 refrain/8
In a list
A contest entry
- Form Poetry by Kelli Marie.
1200 points, ended March 4, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
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Wow, a beautiful piece. I am not familiar with forms, being very much the newbie to all this but I love the way this flows. It is a form I would love to try. You have made it look so easy to do, the words roll effortlessly. Superbly penned
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Have a go, and do check out the other examples I have linked in the notes. I am glad you liked this.
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lovely work here, winter can indeed be a sagging season and thoughts drift so to longing...such a wonderful use of mood here so expressive within a difficukt form...i have done this form and really appreciate the wonderful ease of this poem...PK
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Thanks 'skid.
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This is amazing! I've written pretty good poems, but this beats it all! I mean how in the world did you come up with this? There is feeling, and emotion, something very rare to find in poems!
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Kapoet, I dug deep, very deep.
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Chilling
A frosty tale of frigidness during
a season that can be as cruel as the grave.
At the same time some of our most happy
memories were during the winter.
Such as Christmas as a child and toys
and snow and all the cheer that the
season blew in. Nice work
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Thanks Darrell, glad you enjoyed it. Actually, the whole poem is a metaphor about being bereft of love, that's why there's no relief from the cold and sadness of it - no Christmas.
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another superb poem in this style. I am enjoying reading them.
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Glad you're enjoying, 49.
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The way this is written is superb. Its a brilliant poem. You did a really great job on it, well done.
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Thanks Lkm.
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The form is still new to me (I've only come across it recently) and I must say I very much like the way you've handled it. The rhyming is excellent and the execution of the poem assured. Very well done.
Bill
. Rewarded 4
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Thank you Bill. I hope you have followed the link to the other examples, and checked out my friends' Trijs too.
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Well Seasoned Poet
The flow, imagery, and style are 1st class! The rhyme scheme is so well constructed that I didn't even notice it until knee-deep in the poem. I like the repeating "refrains" in each stanza, and the connection of the speaker to the cold dying wintery world. Would "weep" for "cry" help the metaphor or sound? That's about the only suggestion. I am anxious to see the other seasonal poems as you create them. This one was superb! Reminds me of my poem set to my original music entitled "Dead Planet", which you can hear and comment on at www.nakedadam.net
I would appreciate it my friend, Aloha!
. Rewarded 8
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Y'know I think I have already visited that site - it seems familiar. I chose "lie" and "cry" for their assonance, by the way. As for the other three seasons, they are covered by three other poets - just follow the links in the notes field.
I did a different take on the seasons in these two poems:
http://allpoetry.com/poem/3939079
http://allpoetry.com/poem/3939079
Thank you very much for your appreciation.
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Dear Mairi
This is a very nice poetic invention! And Winter itself was a very nifty invention as well.
You'd have been a very good defense attorney, Mairi.
For no matter what you write, ON what you write, I can hear an "all is well". I would certainly like that in MY lawyer if she were making her final statement to the jury on my behalf.
Beautiful rendering.
(No points were used in the making of this comment)
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I have one advocate in my family already, and that's quite enough. Thank you John, for your continued appreciation.
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ah another TRIJAN 'TREAT' as it were very strong poem "burns like the suck of foul quicklime –" great line and sound where have all the castrated male rabbits gone eh? je penses toujours aux petits details ANYWAY good for youse and your TRIJAN 'buds' thanks for entertaining us in the throes of inter regards zaj standard title good euphony/repeats in first coupla lines very strong closing lines
. Rewarded 8
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I didn't know whether this would be up your alley, zaj, but anyhow the four of us had immense fun tail-ending each other's poems. Thanks for the appreciation.
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I love this form. Another entry of a Trijan Refrain has caught my attention, and I really liked it. This confirms that I do. I thank you for sharing this with me.
Kelli -
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Glad to contribute - I think you'll find there are at least four Trijan Refrains in your contest. We all had fun with them
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Thanks for the inspiration and help, I appreciate it...Sue
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You're very welcome, Sue.
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I have composed many Trijan Refrains so I think I'm qualified to say this is perfect. Wonderful way to tell me how blessed I am to live in Florida.
Love,
Amera
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Well thank you... perfect? wow! No one has ever called a poem of mine that before.
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Excellent use of this form.
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Merci beaucoup pour les lapins.
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I was about to comment on the pair of you but....
Damnit gimme a little while please...
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Take all the time you need, Jeff.
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Now done and in the same contest, I apologies to both of you but it was far too tempting!
I hope the expected conclusion by the addition of Autumn relegates mine to fourth place. -
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Yeah I know... you can resist anything but temptation, Jeff. No talk about "fourth place" - it's in no way certain any one of these Trijans will get close to the podium!
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Who cares about the contest? We have our own mini version going :-)
(and apologies to Kelli Marie, we all care about the contest and thanks to her for the opportunity for this terrific game!
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I love the contrast we brought about...it would be fun to collab after this contest and add the other 2 seasons...if you're up for it This is beautiful in all of its coldness, an excellent example of this form. Love it! Laura x
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That sounds like a jolly good idea, La
I am glad you like this one. I am warming to yours the more I read it.
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