Please cradle me and keep me safe
and whisper I’m the one you’ll keep,
while holding me so very close
to gently kiss my eyes to sleep.
And whisper I’m the one you’ll keep
so dreams may quickly come of you
whose fingers play the sweetest song
of sun and moon’s night rendezvous.
While holding me so very close
with tears igniting passion’s burn,
illuminating trembling souls
of love which I have yet to learn.
To gently kiss my eyes to sleep
and close them slowly in the yawn,
please rock me soft in warm embrace
‘til sunlight’s smile awakens dawn.
Author notes
retourne
Like so many other French forms, the retourne is all about repetition. It contains four quatrains (four-line stanzas), and each line has eight syllables. The trick is that the first stanza's second line must also be the second stanza's first line, the first stanza's third line is the third stanza's first, and the first stanza's fourth line is the fourth stanza's first. Retournes do not have to rhyme.
Titles are Us 'Until Tomorrow'
A contest entry
- Love, Love, Love. No PW by LanguishedLad.
700 points, ended March 17, 2008, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Wonderful
Very creative and well done. Best of luck in the contest.
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Bravo!!! Bravo!!! Bravo!!! This is a magnificent retourne that you have penned for love here and a very effective use of the title. I love the use of rhyming in it that was done so elegantly. Beautiful imagery abounded throughout the entire piece and I can't choose a favorite line or stanza as they all captured me the same. Your heart flowed straight through your pen here and I thank you for sharing with all of us. Best wishes for you in the contest. Love and God bless you my friend, Joyce
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awwww, how romantic!! lol, i always say that, but you always write that! seriously, awesome piece, and i love the rhythm in this. very soothing, and very sweet. awesome job!
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Lovely Lullaby
How nice to read before I head off to bed. How do you keep them coming like this? And yet I can't get enough of them. Your poems calm my heart... Those last 3 lines are killer. . .especially "and close them slowly in the yawn" Whoa!
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How can you write both amazing free verse and rhyme as complicated as this? I'm sooo jealous
That third stanza in particular spoke to me. Love is something that we're never completely prepared for.
I'd say good luck. But I know this will do well
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sweet poem... I loved it well wrote. you made me want to yawn. great poem!
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Thanks for the entry
Well penned and best of luck in the contest, keep up the good writing
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