True or false:
We are all liars.
Directions are implemented into our genes;
What one says, and how one feels...
are entities meant to be separated.
Words are our contortionists.
We differentiate interpretations--
promises unintended, meanings unsaid.
Comparisons are lies people live behind
by omitting what they mean to say.
Ink is to pen as I am to _________.
a. you
b. us
c. our "love"
d. all of the above
Differentiate.
Promises unintended: I am the blood in your veins.
You protect me from spilling into the world.
Meaning unsaid: Without me, no one would need you.
You are a tool and I am what is real,
what is left behind.
We hide behind our comparisons
No one asks why...
they accept our lies as truths
without meaning, or intention
like the sun rising from the east?
Author notes
Ah.Sosha.
At least I got in before the deadline. I am all over the place with this.
UGH.
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I keep playing with this piece, feel free to stop me at any time.
*insert awkward smile here*
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Where am I really going with this?
To the insane asylum. I actually think I'm just frustrated with similes, metaphors, and tests. I hate college.
Differentiate.
Promises unintended: that it would be good.
Meanings uninterpreted: i suck at life.
A contest entry
- Teen Idol 7: Round 6 [Top 9] by Tangled Angle.
450 points, ended March 3, 2008, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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82.8
Poetically, this is probably your weakest; however, this is different, and it kept my attention...like...completely. It was interesting.
Your creativity is what saved you. As for everything else, I mean, it's just average. I think this shows that you rely on adjectives wayyy too much- and I honestly was worried about you, in particular, this round; because I know how detailed you like to get [hence your heavy use of adjectives].
The purpose of this particular challenge was to hopefully show everyone that they can be creative without making their poems so wordy with adjectives.
Well, anyway, I am surprised at your score; but here it is. Like I said, your creativity is what saved you. I would have been more impressed though...if you could have blended [more] poetic devices in with your fresh ideas...it would have come out amazing. I think with some more effort, you could have pulled it off.
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i know i already commented but i'm reading things again and i think you made some changes. i LOVE this new version. i think it is mad creative and something that i haven't already heard 1500 times.
the only part that is borderline cliche is promises unintended, meanings unsaid, but, really, how else are you going to say that? -
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I decided to try something different.
I wanted to talk about literal meanings and subliminal messages ya know... but both literal and subliminal are adjectives. :'(
Thank you so much.
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separate. meant. said.
or, at least, i think they are. i would check.
i like the direction that you went with this. atypical, which is nice. -
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Thank you dear. I looked up meant and said and in that context they are both verbs. Thank God for dictionary.com !
I tried to fix the separate thing... I probably only messed it up more though. Ugh*
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Comparisons are lies people live behind
by omitting what they mean to say. - favourite lines methinks x
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This was a hard task wasn't it? I have to say this isn't your best but that is very much expected when we're expected to write something to those guidelines! Still I liked it, your originality still shone through
I think "ever" is an adverb and I think "real" is an adjective. "not" may also be an adverb. Gosh this is hard, I'm sorry I'd check with someone else before you take my word for it!
I like this part:
Ink is to pen as I am to _________.
a. you
b. us
c. all of the above
But I think for an "all of the above" you need more than two answers (maybe that's just me lol).
Good luck! x -
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Thank you very much. I don't know how I would fix all the nots... *cries*
I don't really like this piece as much as I thought I would.
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