Ice Rink
Shiny steel blades
Body checked into boards
Slashing speed crosses the blue line
Taped curved stick carries puck toward goalie
Slap shot bounces off padded glove
Wrist shot upper right side
Back of the net
He scores
Author notes
This is a rictameter syllable count is 2,4,6,8,10,8,6,4,2. a traditional rictameter has line one and nine with the same 2 syllable word. This is a non traditional rictameter with a differnt 2 syllable word/words on lines one and nine.
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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He scores!!!! I want to see a hockey game sooo bad!!!! Great job stud muffin.
LOVE GUIN
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Thanks Guin for reading and commenting. Yeah hockey games are fun to watch, someday I'll take ya to one. Always good to hear from you.
Love,
Charley
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I must disagree
Hockey
or basketball
which one would take more skill
hoop-ball clearance may be inches
puck through the goal clear by several feet
basketball score may be hundreds
hockey score maybe one
basketball not
hockey -
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I disagree
No way Hockey you're on blades thats an eighth of an inch thick on slippery ice. A hockey player uses all their muscles groups a basketball player using their legs and a little work with the arms. A basket ball is easier to handle then a puck look at the size difference and you have to shoot the puck with a curved stick!!!!! Look at the size of the basketball floor compared to the size of an ice rink. Its lower scoring because its more difficult to score in a hockey game then in basketball. Hockey you are allowed to body check, basketball someone puts a finger on you and they call a foul. Sorry I have to disagree.
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This is a perfectly formed rictameter . . . it would seem the bug has truly bitten you!
Hockey is my favorite professional sport, followed closely by rugby, and the imagery you've used brings back the last game I attended . . . fun stuff!
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Thank you very much for your comment on my rictameter. I truly enjoyed this one. Yes I'm truly hooked haha. Thanks again.
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Clever
You clever thing, I see you got your shape formed....*sigh*....I'm still having trouble lol with my shape.Reading your write,I found myself holding my breathe with anticipation waiting for a score!You had great descriptions which gave the reader great visuals while reading your poem.Clever little man, aint ya!!I'm jealous lol lol.Looks like I need to get back to the drawing board and practice more on my rics!
Any way Charley, all up the write is awesome and you were a pleasure to read as always
Best wishes for you in the contest.
Take care and many blessings to you!
luvs ya!
Angel.
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Thank you beautiful lady, I'm glad you liked this write. I enjoyed writing this one and plan to do more. Always appreciate you reading and commenting on my writes. It means a lot. Thanks again.
Charley
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Excellent
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I LOVE HOCKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oops.
Just I just say that out loud?
This is a wonderfully penned piece of poetry.
Well done.
Keep up with the great work.
Keep on penning.
Thank you so very much for sharing your wonderful talents.
Best of luck to you in the contest my friend.
*S* Cynthia
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Thank you Cynthia for reading and commenting. This was a fun write and I love hockey too. I go to hockey games quite often. Thanks again, I appreciate it.
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The rictameter is a form I want to try. You have done an excellent job. I think this is a great write. Good luck in the contest.
Kelli -
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Thank you Kelli for considering me in your contest. I appreciate your reading and commenting.
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