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No Escape

She lifts up her head,
and she looks around.
Her razor's left swimming,
just silence.. No sound.

She goes underwater,
and silently screams.
She comes back up..
And bloods all she sees.
The tub waters red,
her wrist, they sting.
She starts to smile..
She's slowly dieing.

Her whole body's numb,
yet guilt burns from withing,
she grabs a stained razor's,
and severs her skin.
She's all alone,
just her red stained tub,
some razor's's and knifes,
and a pool of her blood.

She lays her head back,
and prepares for the wait.
Her death will come soon,
it's no longer a debate.
My wrist are still bleeding,
my eyes they are closed.
I hear a a loud beeping,
and chaos aroused.

There wrapping my wrist,
and shocking my chest.
There trying to save me?!?
I try to protest.
"I don't want to live,
I just want to die,
Leave me alone,
I'll give my goodbyes."

This world is going to make me break..
I'm running but there's no escape....

Author notes

Emergency...

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 26 of 26

  • xXCadyBabbiXx
    December 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow.
    Really deep emotion.
    This is just what I wanted.
    Out of curiousity which picture did u use?
    Thank you for entering.
    good luck!


  • crazymomma
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed the rhyme scheme and descriptiveness of this write. I could really feel the pain as I read. There are a few grammar and spelling errors but other than that very nice. Thanks for entering and good luck


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    July 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    awww this makes me feel so sad, but I really can relate to it in many ways, this just makes me feel sad, as I have been there in some respects myself.

  • underestimated1
    July 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    very deep and meaningful. thank you for entering. very descriptive i love your detail!


  • Blooming Poet
    June 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Maybe not to the cutting part, because I am completly against it manly because I know what it can do. But I really liked this poem


  • Cat10
    June 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    thank you for entering! just was I was looking for! great job with this piece and nice rhymes! good luck in the contest


  • Strify
    June 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very beautiful!


  • pancake
    June 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is very strong and powerful. wow. made me sorta freeze lol, no but i can relat. describes it vividly, very good. so accurate. makes you feel like your the girl. i loved it. kept me hooked...


  • crystallynnbradford
    June 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is a very powerful piece...there are a lot of people out there who can relate to this experience, I know, because I'm one of "them"....very descriptive and detailed to perfection


  • myusikah
    June 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    That is a good vent. It's sad...really. Some grammatical errors, some spelling errors. Um. Thanks for entering!
    Good luck.
    -->pia♫♪


  • fallinxalone
    May 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    how sad. really see your heart.thank you for entering.


  • Florida Sunshine
    May 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The imagery is over the top good. You could almost picture the whole thing almost like your watching a movie. You made my heart sink about 10 feet.

    A few spelling errors you might want to fix ~ or you might like it that way... if your not sure where the errors are send me a message I'll be happy to share with you. *** I'm just letting you know, I am not judging grammar. I still understood what you meant without a problem.

    Very riviting write, you keep the reader sitting on the edge of the seat waiting to find out what is going to happen next.

    Thank you for entering my end of the year contest ~ It truly is a pleasure having you here!


  • Fading.Heart
    May 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love this sssooooo much =]

  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    May 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This totally breaks my heart that people come to feel this way and how I so very close to came to this stage in my life myself recently.


  • BeautifullyBroken42
    May 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Uh sorry, did you read all of the rules? because this is too long for this contest. it was pretty good, well no great but it didn't follow the rules so it is now DQed. Sorry.


  • Morphine Mayhem
    April 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    you morbid mo fo. ima kick ur face in. love tor


  • Redrusty66
    April 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great write. Deep emotional metaphores covey the feelings well. Nice construction and flow. Thanks for the great read.


  • onapedestalIstand
    April 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I'm sorry but if you read my rules i clearly stated no emo stuff..please enter something else!!


  • perfectsunset gold member
    April 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was a dark write and very painful full of emotions. I don't agree with people discriminating others who act in this way because everyone has their own ways of dealing with pain and escaping it. No one will truly know why another does what they do, unless they are in their shoes. People having feelings and many seem to forget that. This is a great poem, with a lot of thought and imagery that sets the mood for your poem.

    Good job. Best of luck in my contest & thanks for entering


  • SuicidalLover
    April 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow a lot of emotions coming off. Seaking escape, being saved, and feeling your life leave you all at once. Great poem on emotions!

    As for your grammer...always room for improvent! Don't worry I'm still working on it!
    Thanks for entering!


  • Jasmine Minx
    April 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    if you do leave the pain that way then you are weak. to show the strength of your pain and your mind you have to use your pain to make others see what is around them. keep your pain inside you and write what you feel you can control the emotions of those around you if they read your work.

    ali


  • SpiceRack
    March 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked this.
    It reminded me somewhat of the scene in 1408 where the guy is killing himself in the bathtub. I think there was great imagery in this piece. :]


  • Ale E
    March 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow I liked this. At first I thought this was a little too emo, but it got good at the end.
    This world is going to make me break..
    I'm running but theres no escape....- I loved those 2 lines.

    Thank you for entering my contest. Very nicely done. I wish you the best of luck.

    ale xox


  • boydamaged
    March 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Amazing job. You told me a story and I could feel your pain screaming through as a read. You are very talented. Great write, thanks for entering and good luck.


  • Hyakkimaru Nyktos
    March 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. I can't say anything cept. Wow. lol


  • bleedingheart91
    February 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I likey

    I liked it. It was very nice. I had a good visual and it somehow reminded me of a the movie thirteen ghost. Lol. But i liked it alot.

1 - 26 of 26