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Our Father 's Eyes

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I was walking on life's journey

stumbling along the way,

each time I had fallen

I heard a wise man say.

 

Rise my child walk on through

each fall you will grow,

wisdom will guide you

you will know what the wise men know.

 

 

Slowly the twists and turns

united into one,

as if I was being carried

my life had just begun.

 

 

I stopped to rest a while

had fallen fast asleep,

awakened by a bright light

I jumped up to my feet.

 

 

Light full of colors

crystals shimmered and shined,

in awe I stood there gazing

the vision blew my mind.

 

It disappeared in an instant

I had awakened from my sleep,

I realized I was dreaming

the vision made me weep.

 

I continued on my journey

I heard a sorrowful soul,

a child of God deserted

his pain had taken toll.

 

I asked him why was he crying

does he not believe,

the pain was caused by lies

of evil that decieves.

 

He asked how I knew

how could I be so wise,

I told him it was given

when I saw our father 's eyes.

 

I continued on my journey,

on the corner under the stairs,

he was desperately hungry

and was told no one cares.

 

I told him to find the truth

just let go of the lies,

this is what I learned

when I saw our father's eyes.

 

I passed a weeping mother

her child had passed away,

living in darkness

could not face another day.

 

I told her she is also a child

how she was loved,

her child would be taken up

to our father above.

 

She asked me how could I know

this to be true,

I told her what the wise man said

exactly what to do.

 

Rise my child and walk on through

each fall you will grow,

wisdom will guide you

you will know what the wise men know.  

 

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Comments

1 - 65 of 65

  • rite
    August 26
    Edit | Reply
    Unconditional life is often difficult to fit into our limited perception, too great for our hearts to envelope. It allows us to stumble and fall, to make mistakes and yet never leave our side. It is overwhelming beyond all that we are capable of. A blessing of infinite grace and power. Three times gold is almost symbolic for the depth and reach of this eloquent poem. I congratulate you with it and thank you for sharing. May many find solace and re-assurance in these true words. Take care.



  • Beautiful and bountiful story on the wonders of faith told in poetic expressions of true poemization... "Our Father's Eyes" was poemized to inspire and to enchant.

    A sublime moment I have reading "Our Father 's Eyes".

    In respect and admiration,

    Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU

  • this is stunningly good and hit deep today thankyou so very much
    T


  • fennywest
    May 25

    Edit | Reply

    profound

    Rise my child and walk on through

    each fall you will grow,

    wisdom will guide you

    you will know what the wise men know.

    so profound!
    I enjoyed it, captivating! well-written.

  • Beautiful

    This poem was done with a loving heart not only that but it was worded with deep compassion it revealed a qaulity that only the poet possess


  • JePeTto
    May 5
    Edit | Reply

    I'm sorry

    I never took the time to actually comment on this, and yet, I took it, printed it, and posted it on my wall.

    This is... words can't describe how I feel... the truth?

    It's nothing short of great, as the trophies show, and I would like to thank you for sharing it... and involuntarily sticking with me.

    Thank you, It's a fine message.

    Much Love,
    Matthew


  • Amalthae
    October 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow!! it gave me the chills. beutifuly written.

    I continued on my journey,
    on the corner under the stairs,
    he was desperately hungry
    and was told no one cares.

    this be so true. i love it.


  • Baahltres
    October 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow... that made my eyes tear up. Thank you so much for your comment on my poem and I'm definitely adding you to my favorites!


  • AutumnsFlame
    October 18, 2008

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    This as a great poem in my opinion. EXCELLENT story to it, and the flow was perfect. This was very deep, which is what I like to see as well. Great job on this, and thank you for entering my contest.


  • jeck
    September 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    The Best! that's all ai can say... you really deserve every win.


  • written-in-ink
    September 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow this was amaizng as i am sure that you know as you have all these golds

    i think thta this hasa very good message
    i mean one of the best

    thank you so much for sharing it with me

    and good luck

  • Catastrophe
    September 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I really like this. God is the only one who gives us wisdom.


  • Meme Wheeler
    September 5, 2008

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    Wow, so now I have chills TOO!!! Oh, my this is so profound! The wisdom of the ages is in this write!!! It is so encouraging as well to read something like this at this time in my life!


  • Jalalbad gold member
    August 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    worthy of gold, your a real poetess, never rest your quill


  • lacef
    August 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    very good

    I enjoyed your poem. I can relate. We must hold fast to the vision of our father's eyes. He knows what we don't and he is willing to reveal it to us. Thanx.


  • AAA Taurus The Bull gold member
    July 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Good stuff

    I thought is alittle long but this great work !!! the best for me so far the genis here a Great poetic mind keep it up , you have great vision great flows


  • Swangrnv gold member
    July 14, 2008
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    WOW!

    TREMENDOUSLY INSPIRING! A beautiful work of art, by an equally beautiful soul!


  • who iam
    July 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Inspiring

    Well done with such inspiration and love from within.
    Our Father has given us direction ,just a matter of listening to His word and following through.


  • ourgirlFriday
    July 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I heard Him say this to me before, too

    Rise my child and walk

    each fall you will grow,

    wisdom will guide you

    you will know what the wise men know


  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    July 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Outstanding piece of poetry! This is so well written and I enjoyed travelling through it. Intuition is a wonderful thing and so many ignore it. What I really adore about this piece is the personal touch, it feels so deeply personal that I was almost embarassed to be privy to it. Awesome piece, truly awesome

  • Mailservhr
    June 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    All day

    Why does a loving Father spoken of make us all cry? Just going to have to spend some time here to offer anything real. I'll try to comment everytime I visit; as you have honored....


  • Rose Angel gold member
    June 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It is no wonder you had a gold for this one...So naturally written from the heart. So moving, and beautiful in rhyme and flow!Bravo!


  • Ali - Pie
    June 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful poem


  • Hope Angel silver member
    June 17, 2008
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    This is very uplifting. I loved it. Thanks for entering

  • piccola silver member
    June 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    the rules state no trophy winners.

  • Virgoan
    June 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The truth grows in this piece and into the reader's eyes and heart.

    The 6th stanza is just life stopping.

    Keep sharing your gift.



    HENSLEY


  • Nam
    June 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "I heard a wise man say." - shouldn't the period at the end be a colon, or a comma since the next verse is what that line pertains to? Also, I feel the next verse should be in quotations to separate it from the narrator (you) since it's something someone else (seemingly) is stating.

    If this is a religious poem (Christian) I believe that the use of "fathers" in the title and in the poem should be "father's" and perhaps even (if Christian) "Father's".

    Other than that, a nice poem that you have written here.

    -Nam


  • wingsofgold25 silver member
    June 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well my friend this time words fail me this is an excellent spiritual poem. OUR FATHERS EYES fantastic I love it, Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest.

  • Virginia Logsdon
    June 5, 2008
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    Awesome!

    I love your poetry! It's so spiritual and meaningful!May I point out something? In the next to the last set of stanzas, it should be "she asked me how could I know this to be true..", instead of "she asked me hoe she could know.."I know that's really what you meant.I hate it wjen I do that, too! Thanks for inspiring me!


  • Rose-Petals
    June 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is really good, well done


  • echo-ink
    May 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful and heart-wrenching.

    Every word true. I'm crying. one of your best, my child.

  • StormAngel
    May 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    'My Father's eyes,' a living metaphor I have used many, many times, and is what I look for in all living things. It's disheartening when one finds it's been stolen away from many people's eyes that you meet upon the street; but then a bird lands upon a wire above their heads, and I look up, and I know my Daddy's watching.

    Great poem! Thank you.


  • Kathleen a Nazarene
    May 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    So Warm & Tender!

    Oh thank you for this my dear friend! This is so comforting to read. There are many who don't know their true Father [He says that we should call no man Father, for we only have One Father & He's in heaven!]& those who know Him have the responsibility to make others aware of Him. This poem brings this out beautifully!


  • jackysunshine
    May 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    You are very obviously a truly gifted spiritual person who inspires others with your beautiful words. Keep up the good work.


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    May 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Oh ...something is left..lol

  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    May 19, 2008

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    Humm..truely a deep work..and represents the soul of yours..I love this work..thanks for sharing it..my friend...


  • Maureen silver member
    May 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent!

    Very inspirational poem! Your faith shines in your lines!

    Maureen

  • cdudecosner
    May 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very good poem! "Each fall you will grow." I really liked those lines. They are true. We have to keep walking and not let life's problems break us down. Thanks for sharing this.


  • AsIThink gold member
    May 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Superb...

    You are very talented and gifted with words. I enjoyed this poetic flow. I like this message of hope and reconciliation with (maybe?) our innate orientation (which we seem to loose - along with 'our way') in this world. Wonderfully uplifting and inspiring. Great job.


  • OnceUponAMind silver member
    May 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow - This is so powerful - and Pure - seemingly straight from our fathers mouth


  • DolphinLass silver member
    May 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow what incredible words you penned so beautifully too..thanks for sharing


  • rainz3d
    April 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful.


  • just4fun20
    March 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    very toching

    it was very deep and i liked it alot


  • melphleg gold member
    March 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    bravo

    This is well written. It seems describe both salvation and the motivation in brings to do good - to pass on the truth. You've created some wonderful vignettes.

  • nostalgicdreamer416
    March 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    AWWWW--this is wonderful....nearly made me cry i loved it--it's soooo true....i just wish we can all hear that "wise man" who gives us encouragment and hope along our journeys....life's tough and painful sometimes, and as my friend once told me, we just need to give it all to God....you captured hope so well in this poem....there's not much that i can say except that it's marvelous, truly beautiful....great job ;] im glad i read this :]

    Godbless....;]


  • xxBlack Dawnxx
    March 6, 2008
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    it moved me

    wow thats all i can say


  • Buckie
    March 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Love it

    Wow.. this is just beautifull..!
    I really love it


  • Rheea gold member
    March 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A heart song, I love this it sings to me.


  • Sagerider
    March 3, 2008

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    This is Just beautiful

    The beautiful smooth verse leads the thought along to a great conclusion. Great thoughts. I especially like it because I have had a secret crush on every Kathleen I have ever known. Beautiful write.

  • wandering-pen
    March 3, 2008

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    Beautifully written. It shares an amazing story and I love how you ended it. It is soo true how all of the lies can hide you from the love that God freely gives


  • beisekergirl
    March 3, 2008

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    I absolutly love this piece! its astounding, the way you captured the wisdom, love and grace of our dear GOD, Lord, and father, bravo! God bless, this is truly inspirational, and uplifting to all who read it. I was captivated with every line! You have such a beautiful gift. I like your wording, the ryhme scheme is excellent, good stanza breakdown, and complimentary background.


  • wolfwatcher
    March 2, 2008

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    I love it

    that is definitely pretty sweet. Well done, flowed very nicely. Our Father is definitely very wise!!!!

  • rite
    March 2, 2008

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    The complexity of life is at times devastating, its harshness beyond our ability to comprehend. It gives an abundance of arguments to dark souls to claim there is no such thing as The Light. But souls who continue to look for The Light surrounded by daunting darkness sometimes are granted to experience feelings unknown to dark souls, that keeps the hope alive that better places and times await us when the illusion of space and time will be over and done with. Trying to find arguments to counter the assaults of the dark is useless, the dark souls at the core of the dark already know that creating an illusion is the best they can do. All their cronies are merely souls fooled and trapped in their illusion. It is better to write poetry like you placed on this page. Thank you for creating and sharing. I enjoyed reading your thoughts. Take care,

    Chris


  • CherryOnTop
    March 2, 2008
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    Man this is so beautiful and uplifting.So very talented.


  • Malabu
    March 2, 2008

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    beautiful work here...bit long...but guess it took much to tell this story...the rhyme and meter also done with perfect rhythem....I dont think I could do one of these poems so exquisitly as you have...

  • childlike faith
    March 1, 2008

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    A beautiful poem

    Thanks for sharing your poem. I really enjoyed reading it. We all need to take the time to help someone on their journey here. There is a great need for love for our fellowman. childlike faith


  • princehusayn
    March 1, 2008

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    a spiritual journey Excellent write

    I love this because I am on that journey myself and I know that.. am conscious of it but many of us see this life as some kind of maze chasing the depreciating dollar or apple bottom jeans or just waiting to die without ever knowing that there is a purpose higher and above our understanding. This write begins and ends with great imagery reminding me of scriptures life and pages yet to be written and sometimes experience but not completely understood. Thank you for sharing and please keep and continue in the path. Peace


    • Pisces rainbow gold member
      March 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      THANK YOU MY FRIEND I ALWAYS LOVE READING YOUR COMMENTS THEY ARE ALWAY INSPIRING. GOD BLESS


  • Sandygram
    March 1, 2008

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    Good morning. What a beautiful and uplifting poem you have penned. What a pleasure to read. It is a poem to touch everyones heart. Thank you for sharing. Take care. Sandy


  • Aesthete2000 gold member
    March 1, 2008
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    You do have a gift
    for seeing truth
    and passing on
    the wisdom you seek.

    Aesthete


  • Blueskywonder
    February 29, 2008
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    WOW! speechless! This is an insightful piece full of wisdom and care. You manage to convey so much emotion truth... wisdom. You are a rock of faith hard with wisdom soft with awareness. This was a journey that kept me captivated! Thank-you for creating and sharing with us. so many riches in this piece of poetry


  • BuriedTreasures silver member
    February 29, 2008

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    Excellent!!

    This is an excellent composition that is versed and structured in a beautiful manner with perfect flow--Perfect! Well Done!!


  • Poetry-and-rhyme
    February 29, 2008

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    wonderful message in the last stanza aunty i really enjoyed every bit of the poem and the railroad track addds more essence to it great job aunty(L) love you loads

1 - 65 of 65