The serpentine piano wire
Had slithered around the neck
Of that pious honest liar
The struggle was not desired
But with a few tugs and pulls
The deed which he had conspired
Was finished right to the end
The body was set on fire
A makeshift funeral pyre
To mask that dark ghastly deed
The ashes cast in a mire
Another priest to the Sire
His name was lost long ago
But he did not care at all
And neither would the new foe
For he had no chance to know
As the round came from afar
A third nostril to bestow
No pain did the father have
Pain, racing his death, was slow
No agony there to show
To seal that night’s events
A splash on the lake below
One less bishop that must go
No evidence hidden well
Would be found immediately
But still, the blood on the bell
The residue of the gel
His presence was discovered
Our killer, willing to sell
His identity, that is,
On his next kill, he would tell
Why he sent those priests to hell
“Please call ‘Clergy-culler’.
I do this to purge the fell,
So one day He could be quelled”
Author notes
I had fun with this one. Because I normally write lyrical poetry, I decided to change my pace. I realized after I started writing that since this isn't a song, I could use any rhyme scheme I wanted, so I went with a funky abaacadaaeaa pattern.
The syllable count was a bother though; the first few lines had seven syllables, so I decided to keep it that way for the rest of the poem. That made it harder and harder to write the poem as I got closer to the end. :/
I don't know about you guys, but I like the first two stanzas and dislike the last one. I especially like the first few lines, since they came out naturally and almost accidentally.
In any case, I think this is a good example of why I should stick mostly to writing songs, even though I do enjoy writing poems like these. Give me too much freedom, and I end up losing consistency by the end of the poem.
A contest entry
- Serial Killers by Tattboyspet.
425 points, ended March 6, 2008, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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the rhyme and flow of this work very well, it pulls, holds, and moves the reader into the next visual. What I like is the broken cadence and rhyme, it Fits with a Manic picture. Structure in Poetry is what gives the flair and flavor, and you used it well. Congrats on the win my friend.
WSD
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Thanks! I'm glad you liked it.
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Creative and dark - it gave me the feel that this beast was playing king on a chess board
despite the fact that you maintain that you shouldn't write poetry and should stick to songs, I thought that this was really well done!
thank you for your entry
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It's nice to hear you say that, since the last non-lyrical poem I made that I was confident about was written months ago. (Not to mention it took me over a year to write. XP) Thank you.
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Nice piece, delightfully dark and intense. Over all a fantastic piece. I like the third verse just as much as the others. Best of luck
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Thanks, and you too!
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