How do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways:
To thy eloquent beauty, man sings praise
But thy comfort, I am forced to deny,
Thou art as painfree as a lobotomy.
Thou causeth many agonizing falls
As I balance precarious and tall.
Thou ensnareth my feet in dark black cages
With raw red blisters from thy bondages.
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways:
To thy eloquent beauty, I sing praise
As thou art so very damn attractive
No matter how much thou art abusive.
Thus I write thee this little sonneto
My beautiful, tall, jet-black stiletto.
Author notes
"Sonnetto" is Italian word meaning "little sound or song."
"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways"
Line taken from Elizabeth Barrett Browning's sonnet "How Do I Love Thee?"
Written using an iambic pentameter in the sonnet form.
By sinnocence ♥
A contest entry
- Let Your Form Shine by 2lullabyhaven.
475 points, ended April 21, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Villanelles, sonnets and pantoums only by ecrivain01.
450 points, ended April 23, 2008, 24 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Orphan Looking For Family by GypsyEyes.
600 points, ended April 24, 2008, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For all of you Brilliant young Poets...20 and under.... by islekine.
750 points, ended June 8, 2008, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 10 options for the creative poet (3) by bananasfoster42.
700 points, ended June 17, 2008, 34 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Open to all poets on Allpoetry apart from Winklings folk #102 by Lyndon.
3500 points, ended July 9, 2008, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options! Prewrites accepted. by after-silence.
900 points, ended July 14, 2008, 21 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 40 of 40
-
Congratulaions on the trophies. This is a very clever and amusing write. It surprised me but I got it mid-way. Really cute and thank you for entering
-
I recognized the reference. I loved this, very charming with the old English put on top of such a modern object, unless they did have stilettos in the times and i just don't know it. Very good form with great rhyme, clever, and a very refreshing read. Thanks for your entry and good luck to you!
-
This is very cute...and funny...and true
You've taken soe "poetic license" with your rhyme, but given the subject matter, it was appropriate. Nicely done spoof on Browning's old classic.
-
You had me at the first line; Browning's poem is a beauty and your parody of her famous line is excellent. I love the subject: I don't know whether to laugh or nod my head knowingly. I think I'll do both. This is insanely creative and fun. Some of the rhymes are a bit shaky but the rest of the poem is too darn good for that to make any difference. Thank you for entering my contest and providing excellent entertainment. When this contest is done I think I'll have to find you and read more of your work.
-
Something about the old english bothers me ... but your flow is good - I'll give you that.
-
Excellent!
An amazing parody on Brownings famous verse. I simply chuckled at this brilliantly composed piece. And to a shoe no less. VERY clever. You have grabbed hold and offered us true entertainment and I thank you for that.
Well done poet. You make me want to explore more of your work which I certainly intend to do.
Well done and a delight to have in this contest. Brilliant work. Best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela
-
I love poetry penned in the old language and this one sings. I do have a problem with you using Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s line and not giving her credit at least in your notes. Wonderful work and thank you for entering our contest.
Love,
Amera♥
-
-
I have added the credit, thank you for pointing that out to me.
♥ Jojo
-
-
I really liked this little Sonnetto
Though at the same time I feel like I'm reading Shakespeare. I like the approach
good write
-GL in contest -
LOL!!! nice work! oh how those beautiful shoes hurt us so. the price we pay for beauty. LOL!!!! thanks for the entry, i love sonnets!
-
Well written.....rhyme scheme is a bit off...
but works....I love the theme..and title..very unique...will score high in those departments....
Thanks for entering...best wishes in the contest!
Write on!
*PEACE*
-
An interesting take on this well known sonnet. I like your creativity in this piece. Best wishes and thank you for entering.
-
HAHA this was funny! i loved it! well i do need a wifey!!
great poem! made me smile on the inside! *smile* thank you for wanting to be apart of my family!
~NeeCee -
-
Thanks NeeCee
Jojo
-
-
This is funny ...
as I wrote a poem like this as a parody of Elizabeth Barrett Browning's famous poem, "How Do I Love Thee?"
It's possibly the only time I've ever used archaic pronouns since I dislike their usage exceedingly. Unfortunately, you've only used them part of the time, and used modern pronouns as well. That's unacceptable no matter whether I like them or not. You've also got the wrong verb forms. With thou, it would be "thou causeth" and "thou ensnareth". You can find those usages in Shakespeare or in the King James version of the Bible, but I wouldn't recommend overusing them. Likewise, with the pronouns, here:
With raw red blisters from your bondages. (from thy bondages)
The biggest problem with this is that it's a dichotomy. The first stanza says that you dislike this person exceedingly. The third, however, says just the opposite. That almost achieves the actual parallel usage in the traditional sonnet where line nine has a volta and then the sestet rebuts the octet. The problem is that you don't quite achieve that. This is not a sonnet, for one thing, 14 lines or no, because sonnets are never written in rhymed couplets. (Again, check Shakespeare's sonnets for examples.)
The truth is that you have some good lines here, and if you worked on this you would have a rather good poem, even though it wouldn't likely be a sonnet. That's immaterial. It's not a bad idea to imitate the actual form of the poem you're parodying, but it's not absolutely necessary. It would be too much work to rewrite the whole thing unless you have a strong desire to do a perfect parody.
By the way, this reminds me somewhat of the poetry of Edna St Vincent Millay, who wrote a lot of poems in a similar vein. It's obvious that have the talent to write poetry. Now you need to work on the technical end of it.
Thanks for entering and good luck in the other contests.
-
-
I did not intend this to be a Shakespearen sonnet, it was originally Petrarchan but I soon switched to what may be called a modern sonnet in terms of the rhyme scheme, but retained the iambic pentameter, this piece having been written for an English assignment. Thank you for your comment, I will be changing the words shortly.
-
-
Eccellent! but what option didd u do?? i assume that u did 2, Love
-
-
Yes, its in the author notes
-
-
I think you did an excellent job of it, to
thanks for gracing my contest with it
-
I like the third stanza the most. The language is very effective and the mixture of old and new is well rendered on this piece.
Thanks for sharing and keep writing.
HENSLEY
-
Yes! So well does it describe the love hate relationship with one of my favorite thinngs. At first I didn't know you were talking about heels. I like how you chose jet black stiletto, it made the poem so visual which makes it silly and that's the beauty of this sonnet. You weren't trying to be that serious and so picked the perfect thing. Very well rounded poem, hope you got an A!
-
My lil sis this is ever so beautiful, i love your work keep it up
-
*giggles* ummm IDK what to say but ummmm cute. it was a unusual but good write
-
"Thus I write you this little sonneto
My beautiful, tall, jet-black stiletto."
I like this! A very enjoyable read poet!
-
Ahhh the price of beauty!! This was great! Put a big smile on my face. Nope, I aint giving up my stilettos for nothing, even if they're torturous! lol
-
great job and interesting view on a shoe... lol... keep it flowing.
-
This is so cute ^_^
Oh my gosh, this is one of the most adorable poems I have ever read. It's so cute, and you have all this eloquent language and a beautiful rhyme scheme, and also allusions to very famous poems, but it was about stilettos. I'm sure every female over thirteen years old can completely relate to this; it's so annoying that, basically, the nicer the shoe, the more mangles your foot will be when you remove said shoe. I love how it has exactly what your trying to say in not very many words. It's a nice, fun little topic that doesn't seem to even cross the minds of most people on this site (I think myself included, but whatever). I love it. I can't wait to read more of what you've written ^_^ -
I rather enjoyed this creative little piece! Never being one who was ever able to wear stiletto's I can only imagine the truth in these wonderful stanza's but who could ever say they aren't lovely? Not I!
-
HAHHAH!
i loooveee this.
its so funny!
and like
yea i so get it
because shoes rock but bitch they huuuurrtttt -
THIS IS AWESOME! Haha I love the Shakespearean language applied to such a simple (yet, yes, very much loathed) object to make a comical and very memorable piece.
-
I like this. It made me laugh.
-
:)
I think this is great. I love it, It is really cute and funny. Great job
-
I love the humor in this. Sonnets are so difficult (for me anyway) I think you did a great job for a first attempt, especially since the subject was so unique... That ups the difficulty in my book...
-
I really liked this. It's interesting in so many ways. You did very well with keeping to the scheme. Well done! Keep writing.
-
wow sissy this is so gorgous and amazingly writtten and it captures alot in it. your words always stun me with amazement well done
-
This is so gorgeous!
I love this style
and you wrote a marvel!
~Pastel
-
It's a nice sonnet. The meter is sometimes off, but the story is great.
Well done!
-
Cute
Love the humor in this, my stilettos are in a box
somewhere in deep inside my basement and they
still hurt to look at them.
Clever write
-
good assonance in the title good rebuke of classic poetry some wit with 'lobotomy'[probably not KEATS, SHELLY's, BYRON's def of a perfect word - even thought they all might have been in need of the procedure at least once! ha!] rhyme sceheme good especially enjoyed the last stanza thanks for sharing regards zaj
-
such a true poem!!!!!! what we must suffer to just look beautiful
Adding your comment:
1 - 40 of 40
