Such a pair, entwined like vines,
in the russest-colored fields of divinity.
I touched his lips, peach perfection,
then his skin, grey marble.
Love poisoined our hearts,
they stopped and were stagnant.
Forever to remain in the stage of bliss.
And as the sun began to set, red fire in the fields,
time continued,
and you were lost.
A contest entry
- Teenagers [Kids] In Love by Rilly.
550 points, ended March 9, 2008, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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This is alot like looking back on an old photo. Or an old memory that just stays on the mind in freeze-frame. But then reading it again, it's like a romeo and juliet situation. "Love poisoned our hearts, they stopped and were stagnant, forever to remain in the stage of bliss.....Time continued, and you were lost." It's a simply gorgeous scene you've created here. Short and simple and yet it has a very powerful picture and message.
Wonderful, good luck
<3 rilly
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Such beautiful imagery, yet the ending was sad & unexpected. The image I got from this, especially with the lines "they stopped and were stagnant. / Forever to remain in the stage of bliss." was a snapshot of the couple, and this is written a while later after they split up. My interpretation is probably not what was actually written, but I like it. Great job!
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