There are regrets that hide
between spaces of seconds,
their beguiling smile tainting
the contents of an empty sigh.
Each a jigsaw piece lost beneath
the tiles of faux façade,
leaving fabrication incomplete,
and there is no holy water
to quench thirst of dried lines,
scattered like delta from salted pool.
Simplicity is complicated,
compressed silica throwing back imperfection
of stormy existence; weathered eras
melded like reclaimed glass
into a chimera of age and memories.
Finality is so much closer now,
yesterdays number more than tomorrows
and the trickle becomes a torrent
as kisses cross out innocent youth,
eroding that mountain of expectation
into a hillock of realisation,
and all about, scree that becomes
grit laying on the p(l)ain of my history.
Author notes
Team 2
Prompt : Sands Of Time
A contest entry
- ~~BEST POET ON AP:SEASON 3:ROUND:5~~ by wakingdevil.
600 points, ended March 7, 2008, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ultimate Poet - Auditions by xxRainbowDawnxx.
300 points, ended March 24, 2008, 20 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Invite For... Gold winners Judged by RedwingSpirit.
475 points, ended April 4, 2008, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 350th contest group one /finalists only by poet2angels.
475 points, ended August 26, 2008, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites, come and get them by Ryno.
638 points, ended November 24, 2008, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 1000 points, 1000 pws by Shadow Anonymised.
1000 points, ended November 23, 1092 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Be honest
Comments
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nice... strong piece. very strong. i like your language choices [isn't fugazi a band?] and your imagery, truly beautiful.
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They are a band, but the name is in honour of another band called Marillion, Fugazi is my favorite album from them.
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I think you have truly pondered the outter layers of life in this piece, with great meaning, strength and emotion. Your piece made me explore myself and others and took me on a journey of what it is to be alive, and to feel all these feelings. Well captured.
Great vocab. Had to look up several words (which always teaches me) and when I discovered what they meant I commended you for their usage, with the exception of "like delta from salted pool" which I just plain didn't understand (if you could clear that up that would be great). Also, I found "faux façade" a little complicated and unnecessary.
Great work with your strong, beautiful emotions and images. -
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Yeah, someone else mentioned that the "faux facade" was a little awkward, Its probably the fact hat the two words are closely releated as in faux meaning false and facade a fake frontage.
The "like delta from salted pool" needs to have the whole stanza it to give a proper explination;
"and there is no holy water
to quench thirst of dried lines,
scattered like delta from salted pool"
This is basically saying I have lost the ability to cry;
Dried lines are wrinkles that look like a delta spreading out from a salted pool (tear ducts)
definition of a delta is; a nearly flat plain of alluvial deposit between diverging branches of the mouth of a river, often, though not necessarily, triangular.
These are about the closest pictures I could come up with;
http://www.scienceclarified.com/landforms/images/ueol_01_img0033.jpg
http://lh3.ggpht.com/_NEL_dFnB5Zo/R6M9nxEw9AI/AAAAAAAABSI/ZbOhFQgTRUU/IMG_1670.jpg
Hope that helps
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Helps alot, thank-you
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feeling it
~prewrites, come and get them -
Nothing I can say that those trohies don't already tell you.
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This is a wonderfully constructed and well thought out poem, wonderful language and storyline also. Well done and best to you
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Congratulations on your award truly and amazing write.
Blessings.
Frozentearz -
This one hit me hard with a wave of emotion
I love every word flowing beautifully through thjis piece
"Finality is so much closer now,
yesterdays number more than tomorrows
and the trickle becomes a torrent
as kisses cross out innocent youth,"
More evidence of your brilliance
Lynda
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Very well done Congrats on the Gold
Thank you for taking the time to enter this into my contest I wish you the best of luck
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With the exception of "faux facade" which I found to be redundant, I thought your imagery and use of language were beautiful. Thank you for your entry. Peace, Liz
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"Simplicity is complicated," Loved that innuendo! From start to finish, this poem is expertly written poet. I love the play on words and the feel of nostalgia, and forethought. Great work! I wish you well in the challenge.
Much Love ♥
Renee
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This is really great stuff Fug-azi! I think you have nailed this prompt with perfection. Great wording and flow thoughout the piece. Best of luck and it was great being part of the collab with you and PK.
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Excellent use of images and meaning within the flow of your lines, love the last line! (slick!)
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Wonderful flow Fug, excellent description and great verbiage, a beautiful write Hugs, Bunny
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Wow
This is really good. It has a nice sort of feal to it (despite the decidedly dark-ish topic) with it's meter. The vocabulary is refreshing in it's higher level quality, and, even with it's pretty short length, it conveys a story and a lot of feeling. It's really very gripping, and I think you entered it in a very appropriate contest. Best of luck, and I look forward to reading more of what you have written in your awe-inspiring style.
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Good job.
This is amazing bro.
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Great tone, enjoyed reading your outstanding metaphors. great write
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First of all I wasn't expecting a free verse write from you.Second of all I LOVED it lol
The write has such a gentle tone to it reminiscing about the past and the future.The metaphors and well thought out phrases were consistent throughout the write and so was the flow.Wonderful work!Thanks for entering and good luck 
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The flow is awesome. I didn't stumble over anything.
I guess I could go into how I like the imagery and all that bull but you're probably gonna get a lot about that anyway. I think it's good -
Great write here
You have penned this very well for it kept me all the way through needing the next line for completion
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A great collaboration result in these lines - liked the flow, the images created from these words, and the brevity of the lines. Liked the alliteration, the expansive words used and the message shared here. Life goes one, but those memories are so regretful at times. Cannot be changed, even though we wish they could.
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wow uncle the wording here its powerful and effece and your wording and stanas reflect so much within them.its amazing a winner for sureness. hehe love you uncle
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I like the first verse the best, what is says. All is well done and many will relate with its meaning. We all sigh with life as it goes forth leaving us with many memories we wish we all could change..lovely words, thanks for sharing
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melded like reclaimed glass
into a chimera of age and memories
This line is my favorite, it can mean so much. This is a very complex and mysterious poem. I like it.
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Extremely well written! You have covered the theme in such intricate words and imagery... Such an exceptional write on the prompt... can there be better?! I totally adore this, very very very well done. Love and cheers, shuvi
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WOW! Poetry penned with profound perfection professor! Such an heartwrenching view of yesterdays with limited tomorrows to be... I am in awe of this one!
I wish you all the best in the contest with this beautiful outstanding entry!
Linda
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good follow to the prompt enjoyed this part:"Simplicity is complicated,
compressed silica throwing back imperfection
of stormy existence; weathered eras
melded like reclaimed glass
into a chimera of age and memories." good kuck in the contest thanks for sharing regards zaj strong opening great ending title was intriuging
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