When my mother got ill
I watched her die
Little pieces at a time
And I thought
This is the hardest thing I’ll ever go through.
All the sorrows
And tasks after
Were made bearable
By the two tiny life’s
That nestled in my womb
They were born so early
26 week 2 days
And I held my breath and prayed
Oh God ~ how hard I prayed
As the days passed us by
Little by little
I let hope creep in
But my son began to fail…
I wrote his final words
And we buried him late that fall
I thought
This is the hardest thing I’ll ever do.
I watched my daughters grow
One a healthy 3 year old
The other a tiny 3 month old
Who struggled on
Long after her twin
Had given up the fight
“Lina Lina Jelly Beana,
Strongest girl I’ve ever seen-a”
Finally
The news that I’d been waiting for
Soon you can take her home.
No more hospital visits…
…and I started to breathe again
I spent the day alive and smiling
The world was bright
My daughter was coming home
I took pictures of her
Without all the gear cluttering up her pretty face
Then my world shattered
Surgery
Twisted blood vessels
“Nothing to do with her prematurity”
And I’m back in my nightmare
And I prayed
I reached out and hundreds prayed with me
Like her brother Cole
Lina touched the world
How could all those prayers not be enough?
“She’ll need another surgery”
So we waited through the night
I longed to hold her, to put her to my breast
Instead I stroked her tiny head
as she blinked trust at me.
So many prayed as they took her in
Surely God will listen
He has to listen,
I’m not strong enough
He has to listen…
They brought her back to us
And I didn’t want to hear the words
Didn’t want to hold her as she died’
Didn’t want to ever let her go
“Lina Lina Jelly Beana, prettiest girl I’ve ever seen-a”
I sang to her
As her life slipped away
This is not my life
This is not real
Oh please God… Don’t let it be real.
But once again I hold
My lifeless child in my arms
And I’m cold
So cold
And how do I go on?
My three year old
Annika
Talks on the phone to her sister in heaven
And asks when I cry
"why are you sad mommy?"
“I miss your sister”
Is the easy answer
“But I’m here” she replies
And it hurts so much, but, suddenly
I know how to go on
I scoop her up
Kiss her hard and tell her I love her
And how happy I am she’s here
While two other little “I’m here’s”
Echo in my heart
Author notes
For my friend Patrice and her 2 angels.
Cole
October 4, 2007 - October 26, 2007
Lina
October 4, 2007 - Januaary 11, 2008
In a list
A contest entry
- Make me burst out in tears with your words by KaseyL.
600 points, ended May 9, 2008, 84 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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I'm crying, The honesty of little children, sometimes it's just what we need to hear.
My heart goes out to you and your family.
Amazing write.
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Wonderful
Very creative and so well done. A great expression. Best of luck in the contest.
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This is...
I don't even have words. You're amazing, and by deepest condolences to you and your friend.
"While two other little “I’m here’s”
Echo in my heart"
Just wow...beautiful job!
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very beautiful piece. very tragic and deep. my deepest sympathies to you and your friend.
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i don't know how you didn't win that contest because i'm sitting here in tears. this made me feel the pain so real -- maybe it's because on some level i know what it feels like. i had a stillborn, but i can't imagine the pain i would've felt if i had actually gotten to hold and love and see my baby grown and then have it pass. damn. this was amazing!!
for the first time ever, i wish i could give more than three claps!!
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oh
oh wow. this is sooo powerful and real. it hurt me, just to read about it, but to go through i would be almost unbearable. the human race never ceases to amaze me with its resiliance and strength, even in the darkest of hours. this is an amazing write!!!!
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Feeling only half
It's...wow...amazing. Know how the first part feels...lost my mom last yr...was 14. Thought I knew everything and was suddenly empty minded. Didn't cry...but...must be so hard...
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Wow....
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beautiful
oh this is really beautiful.. it brought tears to my eyes! its so touching. you did a very good job of relating the mothers emotions when something would happen that would hurt her. wonderful!
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i love it
i love this one so much i feel the pain and agony i found my self anticipating finding out what was going to happen
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Very beautiful tribute for your friend. It is a sad sad story that really tugged at my heart strings. Thank you for sharing this.
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this is a loving tribute...for your frien Patrice, the way you wrote was reality, your words i am sure have meet a few parents who can relate to such an event...
well done and a touching visual piece of work
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What a beautiful tribute to your friends "little angels". Beautifully written!!! God Bless
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This is so touching and very well written. What a wonderful poem for your friend. this should be a blessing to her heart.
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i havent cried while reading a poem in a long time...
i am so sorry for your loss...
this is a beautiful poem. "“Lina Lina Jelly Beana,
Strongest girl I’ve ever seen-a”" made me smile. i dont know what else do say...it's left me speachless...in the best and saddest way.
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*wipes tears*
I can't even imagine... -
Wow...this is sad. I'm sorry you lost your twins. Lovely written, I didn't cry...but I did get tears in my eyes. Wonderful.
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