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Between the Crosses

They sleep in Flanders fields,
beneath the waves
of poppies;
beneath our feet...
        buried in eternity.

Each flower is a flame
that someone smoothed
into a ribbon,
the center of each petal
        stained with memories.

Thousands of suns
setting as one,
as they bloom...
                forever.



We stand in Flanders fields,
half-glimpsing faces
forgotten in time...
imagining the chaos
crushing the flowers,
        treading them in mud.

The ghosts are but resting,
under a sea of ambrosia.
We freeze in the quiet,
        for we expected echoes.

Thousands of spirits,
calling in silence,
as they wait...
                forever.



Author notes

username: Catauthor


http://www.wsu.edu:8080/~wldciv/world_civ_reader/world_civ_reader_2/mccrae.html
My inspiration was "In Flanders Fields," by John McCrae--a poem about the poppies growing in the fields of France/Belgium, where thousands of young men died in WWI. My title came from this poem.


I spent a short eternity quadruple-checking for adjectives and adverbs, so please let me know if you see any that I missed!

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Tangled Angle
    March 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    94.8

    I thought you tied the allusion in really well. I thought this flowed good, probably your most fluent poem out of the entire challenge...from my perspective at least. The title was alright for me. Besides that, I don't have any decent criticism. This was really good.


  • olly olly oxen free
    February 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    crushed. trodden. forgotten? I;m not sure on that one.

    My favorite line:
    We freeze in the quiet,
    for we expected echoes.


    • Catauthor
      February 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      ugh, thanks. Darn adjectives...

      Good luck and thanks for the tips!


  • Asfand
    February 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    we're suppose to write fifteen lines only. i think. lol, do check. just to be safe.

    this is one heck uva beautiful poem.

    • Catauthor
      February 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks, Asfand. It has to be "at least" 15 lines, so I think that means that it can be longer...I'll leave it, unless Tyler says something.

      • Tangled Angle
        March 3, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        it was suppose to be UNDER 15 lines.





















































        kidding. of course.


        mwahaha

        • Catauthor
          March 3, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          Tyler, you're evil. [I can say that now because you've already scored my poem ]

          I seriously panicked for a minute. The caps on "UNDER 15" were a nice touch, but honestly...gosh.

          My invisible gerbils are so going to attack you now.

1 - 10 of 10