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The Mist

Missing image

Hate flows through the universe

swirling above the globe,

its victims are its place of rest

when hate performs its probe.

 

Energy  aflame

searches for a base,

vibrations attract this energy,

creates an open space.

 

Love too is energy

soaring in light and grace,

it too needs a spot to rest,

it seeks a sacred place.

 

Love and hate can not unite

friction can explode,

conflict can deplete the love,

force love on the road.

 

Love searches for a human shell

where hate does not exist,

attracted only to the light,

love searches for a mist.

 

Hates power has grown full bloom

scattering all its seed,

spreading like wild flowers,

from sea to shining sea.

 

Humanity denies this truth

our precious hate creates,

we points our fingers at our Lord,

and seals our mortal fate.

Author notes




GOD IS INDEED LOVE WE NEED TO OPEN OUR HEARTS TO GOD AND LET HIM HIM, TRUTH IS WITHIN US WHEN WE HAVE FILLED OUR HEARTS WITH UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND LEAVE NO ROOM FOR HATE, HUMANITY WILL BLOSSOM. GOD BLESS

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 22 of 22

  • Andre ben-YEHU
    July 19

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    Wonderful-Profound...



    This is an outstanding composition as it is, but, "The Mist"... this poem would reach its full brilliance if a revision could be applied to shine.

    Stanza six, line two, third word should be ITS. The line line four is a "quote", and therefor should the marked accordingly.

    Stanza seven is too weak for a closing of a poem. It is too prosaic, for it appeals to proselytical situations and emotions on the same; and thus takes away the sustainability of the poetic rhythm and subject dealt throughout the prior ~ one to five ~ stanzas.

    In respect and admiration,

    Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU

  • Ace - LightWithinMe
    August 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hello.

    This is a write before I joined this place, but I saw it in the same contest as me, and thought I would leave a comment. It reads well apart from the second stanza first line, which is too short compared to all the rest in my opinion (as opposed to someone else's opinion, hahah). The actual rhythm and rhyme is done well, flows well. Your actual sentiments, once again I do agree with a lot of them. Congratulations on the trophies already won, and I wish you well in the contest.

    My regards.


  • Play-A-War
    June 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Good write...

    Well written, good flow.

    A good message.

    Thanks for entering.

    Good luck in the contest


  • Manda Kathryn Greeters member
    June 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Heartfelt, powerful and very beautiful this certainly holds all strength up high for us all to see.
    An excellent poem


    ♥
    Thank you for your entry in the May Tolerance & Child Abuse Prevention Contest
    Stay safe
    ~Manda


  • Luna Tique Fringe
    May 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Sorry, I'll have to pass on this one as it goes against the contest rules.


  • darlintlc silver member
    May 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Loved it...this is truely a master piece!!

    thanks for entering
    darlintlc


  • MYsecondchance
    May 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is an incredable peice of writing!
    thanx for entering the contest


  • everyone1 gold member
    May 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    very promising!

    I enjoyed the rhyming schemes that you put together in this one... very exceptional, and it brought the story and fluid meaning and kept it right on course... Bravo! I loved it!

    ~ James ~


  • Kathleen a Nazarene
    March 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent!

    This is powerful & truth filled. I wouldn't change a thing! I really like this:Hates power has grown full bloom
    scattering all it's seed,
    spreading like wild flowers
    from sea to shining sea.
    The background you picked for this matched the lyric well. I can hear the melody in my mind & heart! It's a pretty tune...if I didn't already have 30 recent pieces in the cue already to chord...I'd....dreaming now. Well dear, you've a fan in me. Perhaps we could collaborate at some time in the Future, Yah willing! Pax...


  • Arkbear gold member
    March 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Loved it!

    This is a must for all to read ~

     

    I do wish this had been in a contest, because I think it needs a little Gold Trophy standing next to it ~

     

    :)

     

    Your AN is perfect,

     

    thank you so much for sharing this brilliant pice of work,

     

    Bear ~


  • Malabu
    March 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    another wisdom filled delight...yes a message truly well expressed...hope many more read your words...perhaps entering contest may help your work get exposure....love and light
    Mal


  • paranoiac
    March 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is a very strong poem
    and it has a powerful and well written message.
    well done


  • ShelleyA gold member
    February 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A beautiful heartfelt write and message. Excellent contrast between love and hate. Good imagery, flow, rhyme and tone. Lovely depth of feeling. Good word choice, alliteration and nice assonance. Your faith shines through in this piece. Well penned and much enjoyed.


  • Blueskywonder
    February 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is quite a powerful piece full of sincerity.
    When people lose site of internal substance... replace it external show, desire is born. People who are ignorant to the self and contentment knowing self can bring. This leads to suffering which inturn gives rise to hate aswell as many other dark emotions. Love is the wisdom of understanding that knowing deepest self is knowing deepest self of others, this gives rise to compassion. To purify through pain is hate's work.
    To enlighten with compassion is the work of love.
    I really like this piece and the meaningful gesture you have creatively expressed.
    A great piece!


    • Pisces rainbow gold member
      February 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      very wise words in your comment, I do like the way your mind works and thank you very much for reading. very intelligent. God bless

  • goalsv
    February 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Amen! Beautiful poetic way of expressing that we do indeed need to fill our hearts with the love of God. With our hearts and eyes on God there is no room for Hate.


  • AAA Taurus The Bull gold member
    February 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    love this One

    You got that right !well done, my friend and poet you've done a great job with this one...very effective,you have painted a picture . beautifully done


  • Poetry-and-rhyme
    February 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    yay yay yay this is so sweetwell said and well written so true and your note says much :S humans are really blind:S they can't see how kind iS God with all the beauties that he gave us and they still sin and sin and sin and sin i wonder if sin was a tiny pebble of rock how much load would have been gathered in our bag:S and how on earth we would be able to carry it knowing that everyday it will get heavier and heavier well about hate hatred is SIn bcoz Christ said love your enemy as much as you love yourself what's that point of faith when there is hate:S love should make us not only love friends but love those who act or plan against us and by that we be true sons of God


  • wolfwatcher
    February 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    sweet

    I really like the last verse. ITs cool!!! Definitely true!


  • BuriedTreasures silver member
    February 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent--Well written & Versed--Profound Message--Well Done!!


    • Pisces rainbow gold member
      February 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR ALL YOUR COMMENTS AND ALL YOUR HELP. god bless

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