It’s crazy
You still amaze me in every way.
Your love still takes me through the day.
In every moment I just want to stay.
It’s crazy
You can still faze me with just a touch.
And I still want you so god damn much.
Because my heart is in your clutch.
It’s crazy
My mind goes hazy when I reminisce
about your soft skin and a passionate kiss.
Who knew this happiness would ever exist.
Author notes
Written February 28th, 2008 by Ringside.
This is a format that to the I created and to the best of my knowledge, has never been used before. The 1 line rhymes with the second line in mid sentence. Lines 2,3 and 4 Rhyme traditionally at the end. I've haven't thought of a name for this format yet. So, if one pops in your head when you're reading this, by all means let me know. The rhyming pattern is:
A
A, B
...B
...B
A
A, C
...C
...C
A
A, D
...D
...D
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 36 of 36
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You could call the rhyme scheme "Overlap".
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thank you for sharing this good rhyme with me today. i am looking forward to reading more from you in the very near future. viyanna rosemarie
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Very interesting. I loved the internal rhyme. I think this kind of scheme could be profitably expanded.
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exelent
you should write more on this poem. -
Interesting rhyme scheme. Once again, you show everyone that love can really make it, and that simple things can be remembered and delivered with such care and beauty. I hope she gets to read these and smile every time she sees the words you bring to life. Great write.
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very relatable. and ejoyable to read. short but to the point. very good write. keep up the good work! we all really like it!
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Nice job i assume (judging the content only). I am not much of a romantic poet at all, so it is hard for me to accurately judge it in power and stuff like that. However it was a pretty good poem in not falling into the same pattern as every other poem out there.
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I thought that was amazing. I loved it!
The repetition of it's crazy was very nice and the rhyme and the flow were absolutly flawless! Great write. Well done. -
aww. this is such a sweet poem ! =D
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flows perfectly
i am so bookmarking this
its so cute and boo-tiful
thanx for sharin
addie -
Great Form!
I would have to say, I have never seen this particular form before and I suggest you jump on the chance to perfect it and name it after yourself!
But seriously, I enjoyed this poem immensely, my favorite part is,
"It’s crazy
You can still faze me with just a touch.
And I still want you so god damn much.
Because my heart is in your clutch."
Don't stop writing and perfecting your new form!
Great work!
*~ Ice
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this is really nice, it is sweet and the simple form of it is a refreshing classic.
we all want to feel this way.
great write.
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ooh this is so cute. I love the flow and rhyme in this poem. I love that feeling of still being totally into your partner after being together for so long. You have really expressed this well in this poem. Very well writte.
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yeah i noticed that as i was reading this
so very nice
and i havent seen it before
so props
but it a very nice poem to say the least
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Nice rhyme scheme and good flow
As I read this, I can't help but think of how a jazz singer would interpret it. It sounds good inside my head. I do think that it might be nice to see a single line at the end, as the poem doesn't seem quite finished to me. Maybe that's just the way I read it
In any event, it's enjoyable.
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Thank you. The words did actually did come to me in a Jazz melody. I’m impressed!
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Very nice flow and I enjoy your newly created format very much. I think I would like to try it sometime. Someone is very lucky to have a love like yours. I, personally could have done without God before that other word but it kind of made it more powerful at the same time. Very nice write even though I don't care for that one phrase. The rhyme scheme was absolutely wonderful.
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Aww...
This is so sweet!! Your fiance is a lucky girl to have someone like you to write beautiful poetry about her. Nicely done and keep up the great writes
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yeah this poem is crazily better
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love
wow if this is about ur bf or husband your realy lucky and i wish i was you and i don't know the pattern i try not to pay attention to devices and just focus on the fellingss that the poem gives me and i thought this was wonderful
i hope you write more and keep up the good work
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It's about my fiance (female). thanks for the comment.
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Thanks for providing the Rhythm
you have written a fairly good poem
i have liked it
It’s crazy
My mind goes hazy when I reminisce
about your soft skin and a passionate kiss.
Who knew this happiness would ever exist.
This part creates a nice scenario of your passion towards her -
Nice
Nice rhythm. It flo's very well
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Excellent
A very nice write, indeed. Imagery, rhythm and rhyme are just fine. The use of the word: crazy, reminded me of my poem: "Ele Mental", which you might enjoy, if you choose to read it. Here's a link to it:
http://allpoetry.com/poem/2986932 -
interesting format, want to try also...
nice poem, especially the first stanza .
thanks for sharing
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A good penning with a unique format, though I have seen some poetry forms that are similar, the romantic stanza come to my mind on the very first read as that does something similar with the rhyme, though not quite the same as here. A good flow and rhythm, though I personally think if all lines were the same beat it would flow even smoother.
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This is a very beautiful piece, and made me think of how I feel about my fiance. Keep penning for you are very talented, and bring emotion to the write in a way that touches my very soul. You did a wonderful job.
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a nice poem, although unfortunately, the rhyming on the second verse seemed a little forced, other than that, i can't see any faults, well done
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It’s crazy
You still amaze me in every way.
Your love still takes me through the day.
In every moment I just want to stay
wow...amazing poem, loved the bit above^, keep it up xxx -
A brilliantly written piece of form poetry. You managed to keep with its boundaries and produce a fantastic write. Thank you so much for sharing it with us all.
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I'm a bit ignorant when it comes to form poetry, but your words are beuatiful in this piece. Nice job!
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Sweet! Neat structure too... btw, about the other piece (superman)... guessing it was supposed to be taken lightly... lol ^^ I forgot to notice & laugh. So yeah cool to know that for the most part you do still fly~
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GREAT!!
This was just great and very sweet. I liked how the words just flowed together...beautiful.
Peace to you , jet.
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so sweet, much love to you .. -eleno
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An Excellent Rhyming Scheme
I greatly admire the effort put in to make this work although the statements themselves are have been made very common... which I'm a culprit of that also. On the overall, thank you for entering this contest and please keep it coming.
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Awwww this was so pretty! She must be lucky to have you thinking about her in such beautiful terms!.... kudos to you for trying out your own rhyme scheme!
Thanks for entering the contest!
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