Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Depression Loved Suicide

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I

Depression secretly loved Suicide,
every day he would sigh and pine
for her quick slicing, painful touch,
but she never saw the rhyme
floating casually through the haze
of his dark, hungry scented gaze.
Suicide was in her own world,
leaping from building's tall ways
in her mind's soft blue clouds,
falling in Love's splattered days,
but he just looked through her heart,
never noticing her lips gently part.
Agony was killing Depression,
Suicide vowed to take Love's life
while Love sang songs of hope
to the warm night's starry-eyed strife
at missing the light of the dawn
by just a single moment's yawn.

II

Suicide undressed with shyness,
Depression submerged his head
under the fragrant foam, hoping
for the much longed for escape.
She quickly took off her panties
and pulled Depression up
from the depths of the water,
holding him close, feeling
his scarred skin rub her mood.
Suddenly Depression brightened,
he pulled Suicide down,
laughed as her head hit bubbles.
She spat a grin out and kissed him
passionately, her heart beating
promises of love; until death do part.

III

Depression smiled as Suicide blushed
her love across the ripples of gloom;
saturating the room's fragrant smiles.
Suicide caught hold of Depression's grin
as he dropped to one knee with a sigh;
fluttering through the candle's soft flames.
With a voice clear yet full of sorrow's wisps
Depression asked for Suicide's sweet hand,
hearts merged inside of cool nervousness.
The song of delight sprung from their souls
as Suicide's answer echoed off old scars,
Yes - the note was pure brilliant white light.




Author notes

i n d i v i d u a l i t y http://stores.lulu.com/chasingtheday

In a list

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 42 of 42
  • you know how I feel about this one!

  • Not really sad....or emo...well not as much as I'd like it to be I suppose. I loved the write, don't get me wrong. Just wasn't what I was looking for much. Great job tho.

    Tay Christine.


  • Net
    September 23

    Edit | Reply
    I cannot tell you exactly how much I adore this! There isn't a word


  • The kiss is Thirst gold member
    September 8

    Edit | Reply

    Special

    This dark write felt special, it is enticing in it's darkness. I love the visions you feed with your soulful words. I can't say any one part of his was better than another. It made a complete whole.

    I love the concept of this poem. The words dark black magic, sparkle!


  • xBloodPromisedx
    September 1
    Edit | Reply
    Fantastic write. Good luck in my contest.


  • soulfultia gold member
    August 18

    Edit | Reply
    This poem was rich with your metaphoric rhythm...pulling us into a story that keeps our minds aglow...until we reach the next one! Masterfully penned, one must read not once...but twice to catch all the magic in your words ~Tia


  • Insane-Joe
    August 18

    Edit | Reply
    Well, this does make sense to the topic somewhat, this is very creative I'll give you that...personifying depression and suicide was excellent, I really enjoyed the metaphor in this peice. Thanks for entering and remeber by entering a pre write you must also give me a fresh write as well.

    ~God of Delirium~


  • Net
    August 9
    Edit | Reply
    Divinely sad, utterly faultless and to take such a subject and create such a masterpiece is pure genius. As ever I bow to you. Thankyou for writing this!


  • zoev
    July 27

    Edit | Reply
    an epic of sadness and misery. a bayou took a ballad of old, that is how well it is seemingly written. the language is beautiful, and it is wonderful that you put it into this format. truly outstanding.

  • Ahh, Wow. that's the only thing I can say. It's completely, and utterly, amazing. Every aspect of it is awesome. The form, the story itself, or poem, should I say, is in every aspect, describing the emotions that tear through your body with depression, agony, love, and everything.

    Thank you for entering, and good luck. ♥


  • ishelicious
    June 21
    Edit | Reply

    wow!!!

    i LOVE ALL YOUR POEMS!!!

    EXCELLENT!

  • I need you to put the quote PLEASE!!!

  • I love love love this veryy well done


  • venomoustoad
    April 15

    Edit | Reply

    very original

    I likeit! So much of what you see in the suicide poem genre is just so depressing it makes you want to kill yourself.


  • Babesface
    April 10

    Edit | Reply
    Well written and I liked the diverse rhyme scheme and it's pattern. I also like how you have personified depression and suicide.
    Good luck in the contest

  • Your mind intrigues me so. You can do so much with it and it shows with this poem. You made depression and suicide go together like bread and butter. So perfectly. I think this deserves a trophy for sure! Nice job!


  • UnknownFemale
    March 17
    Edit | Reply
    Good write.
    Thank you for your entry, but not quite right for this contest. Sorry.


  • Room without doors gold member
    July 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Outstanding

    I loved the whole concept of this poem and the way you brought suicide and depression who walk together hand in hand to life. Who would expect romance between them and yet you made it seem very real. This poem shows a creative imagination that looks at the world with fresh ideas and concepts. A very interesting poem with some great images.


  • Jessi-desensytized
    June 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked the first stanza, Its by far the best in my opinion Great job overall!!!

    Thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!!

  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    May 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your much heartfelt and insightful entry, good luck in my contest, Josie


  • Ashley Mosely
    April 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is a good piece I just don't see the quote used to develop this write?


  • VerminVomit
    April 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    i really like it

    i really like how you like...made depression and sucide and all the other things that...i really like how you personify all these things... almost all people imagine it as a state of being and/or act...
    i also really like how you made it paint a picture...


  • Melodies
    April 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    What an amazing love poem. Somehow you turn even the worst things into beautiful in your own special way.

  • destructive
    April 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    it seems everything i read that you have written sturs something inside me. overall envy, i wish i could write so profoundly. your work should be published, more people deserve the write to read such emotions.


  • Shassidy
    April 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. The imagery and metaphors used in this piece make it simply amazing! I love how you broke it up into three parts - it was really effective for the piece. I love how you used the concepts of Depression, Suicide, Love, and Agony (did I miss one?) as people because it really made this piece powerful. My favorite part is stanza I because of the great imagery and emotions that come through on it. The title is creative, inventive, and reflects the piece well - so great job on that. Great job and good luck in the contest!


  • c e ll a r . d oo r
    April 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i love your metaphors, always beautiful and perfectly exressing the meotion you're trying to convey. *sigh* your poetry is like a most beautiful and colorful movie while tripping acid.


  • SandraMVeinot
    March 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    'while Love sang songs of hope
    to the warm night's starry-eyed strife'

    that would be the whole poems underlined meaning in a nut shell to me...

    thank you for the read.

    's for you today!


  • z etoile
    March 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A romance between deppression and suicide this was absolutely genius! Deppression does love suicide one causes the other and the way you portrayed this was incredible! It was hot man! great job.. got my juice flowing!

  • choylifut
    March 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Interesting different

    I liked it the sexual tones distract from it a little though. it would be better a little more abstract


  • BehindTheShadow
    March 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is wonderful!!


  • nobodys-girl
    March 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oh my gosh this is amazing. i have often though of depression as another side of a person but never a persn itself. i love this. thankyou so much for entering my contest and good luck!


  • satan-
    March 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    You are a brilliant person!! Personalizing the Suicide, Depression, Life, Love, etc. I really love the context you put them in. And wow, the symbolism (marriage of Depression and Suicide) just speaks volumes... Really creative, and just lovely to read.


  • ApollosMuse
    March 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is awesome....i absolutely love it....pardon the pun but it evokes any emotions!


  • Chocolate Chip
    March 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    what can i say about this masterpiece!!


  • x Simply x Me x
    March 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    so very clever and unique! I'm at a loss for words! its AMAZING!


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    March 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    A wise and cautious warning...

    very well written, and cleverly done with touches of
    passion to capture all the readers, and draw us in powerfully to each line and verse!
    Very powerful poem to remind us of a wise and cautious
    warning. Depression is not a feast to be enjoyed!

    It is a mind and soul powerful battle,to boldly hang on and reach out to one another, make us WANT TO BE a
    part of each other, release all the words and wounds
    so we can feel like we are breathing once again!

    Thankyou for the fearless courage to write this poem!
    well done! well done!
    ears2hearyou
    Kathleen/Seattle.



  • letters to no one
    March 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Just


  • xXxCry-HavocxXx
    March 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow, thats all i can say is wow


  • 2lullabyhaven
    March 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I've never met a writer of your caliber, never...this is superb


  • aliceramone
    February 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is masterful....another one of my favorites from you...the imagery and metaphors are off the hook...this highlights your out of the box style that is just-brilliant...too much tresure to list here,it all rules!


  • Melodies
    February 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    One of your best. How do you do this? Your poetry is heart-stopping. True, I find I have held my breath throughout the reading. So I guess your poetry is breath-taking. This romance between depression and suicide is poignant and hot at the same time.


  • cheaphotelsign
    February 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "the note was pure..." as is this write...your ablilty to personify is outstanding. this is fluid..a quiet warm dark...a stunning offering.

1 - 42 of 42