two lovers vow
undying love
under the mortal moon
In a list
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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Beautiful. Simple, but it has a lot of magnitude. Powerful words... just hope it turned true...
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undying and mortal...
a contradiction, just like love....
Lane
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this makes one feel so much, even with so few words. J
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like the mortal moon. also the craziness implied, by the light of.
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Simplicity
You Know how I love simplicity. Thanks for this simple yet deep ditty. Thanks for the thoughts and words.
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you had me sit here and ponder....
for some reason i just didnt feel mortal as the common mortal meaning of death but more along the definition of human... like the man in the moon - the face - watching over the two lovers..
so i went to webster....
and there it was under mortal - a human being and then i thought aboute the human limits... and how relationships are tested
so....
that was pretty neat
and if i totally took this is some weird half assed direction...spank me gently lol
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My forehead just hit the desk in half amazement and half jealously. I barely even noticed the repetition of "love(rs)" which is a peeve of mine.
It's three lines. I'm still amazed.
Still amazed.
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damn I like this!
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My undying love is reserved for Murphy's oil soap.
Pledge has a lovely, lemon scent but can't compare.
lovers are fools, beautiful, hopeful fools
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I wish I had a nickel for every time I was pledged undying love. I'd have a few nickels. And sometimes that love lasted a whole weekend.
Maybe that is why it made Karamel Kandy cry.
Short and sweet. Still pondering the MORTAL moon. Interesting choice of modifiers.
Desiree
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I don't know why- this made me cry
Because its too good. maybe. I love the irony here "undying" and "mortal"- as Mary said "mortal" has such a tremendous effect here. Beautifully said, Al.
I don't know why, but I like "beneath a mortal moon" better. Just a teeny-weeny suggestion. Better throw it away... you're amazing, I worship you.
- namita
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sometimes the pledge is all we need
beautiful al
e~
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Undying love doesn't seem to last as long as it used to...
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i've read this several times..
the word mortal stands out to me
it is such a good word-
the poem of course makes me sad all over again.. but such is life i suppose..
it's a good poem
m
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one pledge...
ah-hah! and the man in the sphere grows queer with a certain purpose. I made a pledge once and got stuck with dusting the rest of my life...i noticed the acrostic spells TUB - any correlation? ~ EZB
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Ahhhh. Its amazing how so much can be said with so few words. I love the ending line...
peace
doug
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Nice!
-C -
Short, but really nice. This image could easily be cliched, but one word changes that completely..
'mortal'
Love this.
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Sometimes
The fewer the words, the more that is said behind the silence. Nicely done.
Michael
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enough said. Perfect.
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the death of a poet and the love of the universe...
sigh sigh sigh
simply beautiful... almost a fantasy world opening up to show just a glimmer of radiance
Gill.x
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the juxtaposition of undying and mortal is fantastic
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Powerful write. Amazing how the words paint an image in the mind. Also like the last two lines. It seemed to have an irony to it, how love can last even in a world that isn't everlasting. Thanks for sharing and keep that pen flowing.
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OH Al, this one, believe it or not, just instantly struck a chord with me and my eyes welled up. That hardly happens around here...meaning I am rarely affected that quickly by words on a page. I guess I can relate because I know this one inside by heart and somehow I live it every day...that mortal moon...mortal mortal moon. Ah, yeah...good one.
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Yeahhh, what Yvette sayeth so succinctly & true to heart & hearth. 
Gorgeous, Al. Ahhh, that mortal moon...the scene of many unfolding hearts. Bravo, you professor of brevity & beauty combined. Wanda
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Quite amazing just how the poet places imagery, emotion,poetic device all with impact within just nine words.Kudos. The poem has an intrinsic sigh melded with an almost Shakespearian influence.
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