Just a little Angel
looking for a hand to hold,
flowers are picked with love
bundled up in the cold.
Holds a smile on her face
her cheeks, are a rosy red,
wings tucked in behind her
feathered hat upon her head.
Winds blow from the South
but, she doesn't mind at all,
braves the harshness of the weather
tries her best, not to fall.
Someone's there, to keep her warm
'tis the good Lord above,
she need not worry
she's sheltered with His love.
Copyright Cynthia Jones
Feb.26/2008
Author notes
God is always there.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Stunning in its innocence. Just beautiful my friend.
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This is such a sweet write. Thanks for sharing it. Keep the pen flowing.
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I really like your theme, and the picture I get of a small child being held by God is wonderful! That said, I didn't feel this was quite as strong an entry to me, as your last one. I felt your flow and rhyme was a little contrived. I like to hear free verse, myself, and I just didn't think it seemed unique. However, I still think this was a nice poem, and I enjoyed reading it! Thanks for your entry!
My Scores:
Title: 9.0
Rules: 10
Theme: 10
Language: 9.3
Impact: 9.0
Focus: 9.2
Imagery: 9.5
Feeling: 9.4
Depth: 9.0
Ponder Effect: 9.0
Total Scores: 93.4
Very nice! Remember, once a judge has touched your work, no editing please!
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Nice job ~
Winds from the south would be warm....yes?
Holds a smile......this line just did not seem to Flow off the starting line very well for me....IMO ~
I think this is a unique entry and shows a lot of passion for your Theme.....and I could feel your quills love for this child as you penned each line ~
I do, however, think this could have been a tad bit more *poetic in Tone, but nonetheless, you brought your topic to the front of my monitor and made me keep reading......a lot of tenderness and heartfelt vibes glowing from this write ~
I wouldwatch out with beginning your lines with the word....*just ~
Comma after South....not *but ~
I was wondering how you are picking flowers in the cold.......confused a little on season you placed this in.....but I still found the picture you painted ~
God is always there, may He bless you for speaking your heart and Faith,
....good luck to you and your entry,
Bear ~
Title 9.45
Flow 9.2
Depth 9.15
Theme 9.4
Feelings 9.4
Grammar 9.25
Presentation 9.4
Uncommonness 8.85
Sit & Ponder Affect 9.0
Ability to follow Rules 10
Bears Score: 93.1
Great job!
No editing once a Judge has touched your work :)
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A lovely theme, this has a great flow to it, very well penned. Good luck in the contest with it
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a nice poem
who couldnt love a little, innocent child?
good luck to you
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Beautiful wording and image! Such a loving, soft feel to this.
Best wishes in the contest.
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Beautiful write!
Best wishes in the contest!
Write on!
*PEACE*
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