What do you want this time?
Do you have any questions?
The distortion seems able to be forgotten
But keeping your ideas shut
A wrench not wanting to fix the gears
As the circuit's current flows backwards
For some reason the flashbulb doesn't explode
An overload of negative ions
And the circuit works well
Push the button, there will be light
But don't move the cables
You might end electrified
Plastic gloves don't help
The magnetic charge goes deeper
And like a compass
We point at ourselves
Porcelain resistances are not enough
A thunderbolt for senses
The sparks want to flow
Condensers melting
Too much energy flowing
And the capsules
How can they gargle the voltage
Amperes' regulation
And the harmony of silicon and copper
Do you want to feel the shock?
Author notes
I wonder if it fits on 1 or on 4... either way. I love using specific vocabulary for imagery purposes.
<3
A contest entry
- A Lovers Question by DrkPoet.
450 points, ended March 12, 2008, 27 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - HM winners or Metaphorical poems by Chocoholic156.
550 points, ended September 21, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
Seems a little sciencey, so a little hard to read and understand. But underneath it all you seem to have a good message. I think that it could be edited, mostly in the flow with the big words.
Us stupid people don't use those in normal context. My favorite part was the beginning and last line, you really tied it all together with the questions.
Good luck, and keep writing! -
this is intresting and has a harsher tone to it but i have come use to that. its many questions leave me wondering.
-
Interesting take to the prompt, lovely descriptive comparitive language too!
-
I have to say I'm impressed, I had to go back through and read it a second time just to make sure I got the full affect. The metaphors you chose here are just great, no other way to say it. Your quite creative, I never would have thought something like this would make for a good love poem but my hat goes off to you for making me rethink that. Thanks for sharing this piece for my contest.
Adding your comment:
