The days were fair, the fields were green
but hidden lay a pow’r unseen.
They called him Bob; Saget was he
whose evil threatens you and me.
Those years were grand, the world was bright
(when ‘twasn’t ‘clipsed by Saget’s might).
He stood so tall and was, of course,
a mighty lord with no remorse.
Delight did he in various games,
like tossing babies in the Thames,
and raping cats; let’s not forget
the thought of felines made him sweat.
So on one night, Bob walked alone
beneath the glitt’ring moon that shone.
He felt so wan, so very sad,
though cats he saw, and then was glad.
He raped those cats, he raped them well
beyond the skill of tongues to tell.
[la la la it's not finished yet, but i hope it'll be epic]
Author notes
Bob Saget is evil.
'Tis a lai, and is actually in octosyllabic couplets. I apologise for it not being in Anglo-Norman, and also for my abysmal sense of metre.
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Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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This is hilarious. I love it
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HAHA! Finally, someone who sees the evilness in that guy! Even his last name is evil...
Keep me posted, and don't forget to finish it! 
Jeanette*~
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hahahahahahahaha, wow. honestly, my biggest regret while reading this was that i didnt think to write something about bob saget first. i like how this piece is wildly inappropriate, and entirely unforgiving. his cat fetish is news to me, though im not surprised.
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hahaha cool!!
ok this is a little odd, but whatever!
um, raping cats? ooooooooookkkkkkkkkkkay, then!
whats a lai?
i like the first stanza, and i don't think your poetry is abysmal in any way!
your writing is quite a bit better than most people's, anyway.
you get three clappies!
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A lai is a type of poem created in the Middle Ages; they were often songs, too, and were written in octosyllabic couplets. Those are just the basics. We were studying lais in class, so I thought I'd try my own.
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