My dark place...
Frightening
My pit of fear
Anxiety
Heart races
I struggle to breathe
Drowning in black waters
Tears choking me
No motivation
Whispering waves beckon me
My light place...
Happiness
My peace within
Hope
Optimism
Eyes shining bright
Excitement for the future
Tears of joy
Passion for life
Walking on weightless clouds
Through darkness I struggle
Until again I find the light
A contest entry
- Write as your muse inspires~! by Demington.
550 points, ended March 17, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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As I have noted in other poems concerning the abstract, the lack of concrete details to make use of the senses definitely limits the potential of a poem. I don't think that this poem is made the worse for such a lack, but there is the danger of being unable to establish the connection between the reader and the poet.
Overall a strong write, good job!
Blessings,
C
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such a deep write of inner fears and turmoils. keep your eye on that light that will get you outside of that darkness, and stay in the bright sunshine. I hate the darkness myself, for many reasons. success in this contest.
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"Through darkness I struggle
Until again I find the light"
Well done indeed my friend. Good luck in the contest!
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Very well written and versed!! Best of luck in the contest!
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