'Do you know Tom?'
'Big fella with a wee grey goatee beard,
comes in here quite often.'
'Says you make the best fried egg
this side of the pagoda...No?'
'Wears a red and white chef's beanie,
pagan and part - time poet.
Says he pops in for double egg, bacon, sausage
and a mug of tea twice a week?'
'Come on, you must have seen him.
Lugs a sports bag over the shoulder, a black one
for carrying cookery books, kitchen utensils
and love letters...'
'Erm, this is Whitshiels cafe?'
'Listen here you prat, this is Shitwheels, petrolium pump and garage.
So unless you want your car fixed or filling,
kindly fuck off.'
Author notes
This is true, kinda.
In a list
A contest entry
- for those of you I actually like by zillion.
1100 points, ended March 5, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING SHORT by Blooming Poet.
400 points, ended March 7, 2008, 105 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest by NoUseForAName.
600 points, ended March 19, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - WHAT DO YOU LIKE by Elenaliz.
1000 points, ended March 20, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Worthy of Gold by Virgoan.
900 points, ended April 17, 2008, 73 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Imagery by angryelf6886.
350 points, ended April 5, 2008, 30 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Need A Laugh by Blooming Poet.
300 points, ended April 29, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Ultimate Goal by N e a r.
20000 points, ended June 2, 2008, 946 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PW Party by Blooming Poet.
425 points, ended July 23, 2008, 117 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me what you got...4 by Luckintheshadows.
470 points, ended September 3, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - THE OTHER CONTEST by afullmetalwar.
900 points, ended April 28, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Fight for the Gold: Prewrites Unlimited #1 by amaranthine lover.
27500 points, ended August 28, 185 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
-
20.13 / 25
My take on it is overall...quite an interesting read. -
LOL, I do like this one. But I believe that Whitshiels is around the corner on the left...
Thank you for taking the time to enter the "Fight for the Gold" contest it is appreciated, best of luck to you in the judging... Scott
-
...
Okay??? *backs away slowly* i don't want to know the story behind it. but white doesn't really go well with this poem
i will give a 3/5 for the poem, and 2/5 for the coloring. You get 4/5 for the message. And a 5/5 for the picture that the poem gives
Grand total of 14/20 -
-
Hahaha!!! white doesn't go well with the poem? do you prefer stupid fuggin backgrounds and borders? I write on here as I would without a computer. Black pen on white paper.
-
-
I believe this poem would work aswell before, during or after four special brew!
Liked the picture/character built of the part-time pagan poet -even though he wasn't there and there was no description of the other characters the missing character took main stage, neat,
never saw the whammy of an end
it hit me between two ticklish ribs
and ended somewhere between a guffaw and a roar
Giggle-icous
-
This has won an honorable mention, therefore it cannot be in this contest. Sorry & thank you.
♥
whisper
-
BAHAHAHA! This is too funny, very inspired, I really enjoyed reading this, Thanks for sharing and taking the time to enter my contest,
Luck. -
More insulting then funny, but it works. Thanks so much for entering and best of luck to you.
-
lol thanx. that made me giggle.
-
Very outspoken and it speaks volumes...wonderful descriptive momentum here.
Thanks for sharing and keep writing.
HENSLEY
-
hmmm this gave me a lil chuckle.i like it its unique.cool story.i enjoyed reading it.i got nothing bad to say about it.no critique really.though its not the style i usually like youve wrtten a good one here.
-
Very blunt, but I like it. bluntess can be very well done if used like this. Powerful, but not too overpowerign. Approriate use of cussing, not too much, but enough to be knon what your feeling. Fav lines. So unless you want your car fixed or filling, kindly fuck off.'
-
LOL
Gosh. It's nice to read something in the humor section that's actually funny every now and then.
I could just imagine a guy asking all these questions, and a mechanic impatiently waiting for the guy to leave.
-
Witty and maybe a little hard to grasp if yer not an englishman but I get the color and love the attitude.
-
LOL, floorboards you kill me
-
lol ... very nice one ... makes me think of some random person in my village
and then ... a good clue
-
mmmmm, is tom retarded, did he not see the sgin lol sorry ( ; this is good nice write!!!!
-
Comical
Sounds like a crazy/normal day in the UK if you ask me. So what is the truth behind the story? Inquiring minds want to know
All the best in the contest Alex
Thanks for the laugh today
Much Love and Many Blessings~
~Joy
-
I'm really confuzzled! I don't know Tom. Is he hosting this contest. NO matter what, your words made me laugh. I'll laugh at anything I think is supposed to be funny. Best wishes in this contest! Your old, older girlfriend!
Shana
-
LOL This really made me smile
How a seemingly interesting & intriguing character can be reduced to invisibility with just three words!
-
I Love!!
Its Lovely!! Its funny! Very nice!
-
i like this a lot, especially that you've used dialogue as the entire text, works really well.
-
HAHA, that's hilarious... What is the true story behind this? I'd like to know Good luck in the contest!
Laura xxx
-
funny poem. sounds like it could be true also, ha.
good write and good luck in the contest.
-Will
-
Great write. Good luck in the contest. Lol this sounds like something that would happen to me.
-
good luck don't get the 'spicey burritos' though somewhat amusing too long to set-up though thanks for sharing your originality/creativity regards zaj
-
-
Thanks for your crazy comment.
-
-
Sounds True!
Sounds like Tom is a great guy, even if he gave you poor directions to his favorite cafe - or you have an interesting pickup line for the cute chick at the garage! LOL! Good Write!
-
ok didnt really understand what was going on put hope you do good in the contest
-
lol, funny stuff. Great job, keep it up.
-
Haha. That was quite funny actually. I hate when things like that happen to me :]
-
Lol. You did good job. Im just reading the poems here because im havent came on line for long time. Eggs? I would say here: arghhhhh!!! lol. Thanks for sharing.
-
ROFLMAO!...lol
One too many
maybe???
Great descriptions in this - great images. Very well done - easy to picture something like this happening.
Good luck in your contest.
Adding your comment:
1 - 33 of 33
