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Realization

For a long time my heart was  split
in differnt directions because
I felt the way I acted in a  certain situation
fractured if not completley ruined a friendship


That summer at the Barn was special to  us all
no doubt
but I was in a funk for awhile
and  for a long time  I couldn't figure it out


Anixety overrought my every thought
because  I thought that distance between friends
meant being forgotten about
and that memories would be forgotten in
the meantime


The realization becomes stunningly clear
that over time
my anxiety and fear
has been attributed to nothing
though distance between us all is great
friendships are not lost
and while tension between me and a certain person
has been long since forgotten by the other party
what  I need to do
what I  should have done from the start
is to forgive myself

I ponder why that has been so hard for me to do.

One sentence of advice
"We all love you just trust it."
is all I have to trust in and believe
that fits in the one place in my heart
that was ravaged with emptiness for so long
(Thanks Maggie)

The Barn has changed since we've been gone
dealing with changes has not been easy
but as a group we will
all have the memories of that amazing summer
and never ever forget them.

Author notes

This poem was originally about Will Porter and how long it took me to move on from him. The edited version of this piece focusses more generally on how I realized that memories from the Barn Playhouse are never forgotten and how silly it was for me to fear that I was forgotten about my everyone in my intern company including Will.

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Comments


  • crystallynnbradford
    March 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    unrequitted love....know the feeling and it sucks but you have a way with your words and expressing them through poetry that really lets the reader know specifically how you're feeling, which is genius

  • PoetryGirl26
    March 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i know how it feels be in love with someone who could never in a million years be in love with you....it hurts. I think you did a great job expressing your feelings in this peace, very heartfelt. I'm sure he would appreciate it later on....Good job!