How dare you judge me,
when all I did was breathe.
You consider only yourself,
And leave out all the rest.
You say I disappoint you,
When I am the one disappointed.
You are scum,
When you are suppose to be my mum.
A contest entry
- BackStabber! by GypsyEyes.
575 points, ended April 18, 2008, 28 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Short Poems by Pollycheck.
450 points, ended May 26, 2008, 179 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Really short, yet this is very emotional for me to write, this is for my mom, may she one day leave me alone to parish.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Thank you for entering my short poems contest. This may be a short poem, but it is filled to the brim with emotion.
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wow this poem really was something..especially for so little lines..very powerful write..a lot of anger in this poem, this was amazing..i like these lines especially:
How dare you judge me,
when all I did was breathe.
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....if your poem was a person i'd kiss him or her. i love this! for such short lines you did an amazing job! i can relate to this very well! thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck!
NineTailedFox -
I feel the same way
My mom was a real "winner," too. As a virtually motherless daughter, I can so relate. Not having a supportive mom sucks. A mom is supposed to love you unconditionally and always be there for you, and when she isn't, you feel cheated. I've been there. Excellent poem, and I'm glad you found a peaceful way to channel your anger. Keep writing!
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I'm sorry you feel this way about your mother...it's a terrible thing when you can't even get along with your own flesh and blood. I feel that way about my dad sometimes.
Just one suggestion...at the end of the write you wrote "mom"...it would make the poem flow perfectly if you wrote "mum" instead. I know you probably not british or whatever but I think it works in this
Anyways...nice write
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i like the mesage and i think alot of moms could read it. but lets hope you outlive her. in the first line i would take out the word just i think it would flow better with out it, up to you. wonderfull wirte and keep up the good work
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well written
this is another great write from you... i bet it was very emotional to write... the feling is passed n well through the poem... thank you for sharing and keep writing
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I relate. I understand why this was so hard for you. Our moms have alot in common, maby they should get together and die. Great write love.
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