Something about your heart
is slowly killing me
the blackness which engulfs you
is making me pay the fee.
You told me that you loved me
was it a lie? Was it true?
or are you the same person
that could never stop loving only you?
I miss the way you held me close
and whispered in my ear
i miss the way you kissed me most
and let my heart feel dear.
Where has that person gone?
Are you ever coming back?
Have you been here all along,
or do you never cut yourself any slack?
It hurts to see you with anyone else
it lights my heart on fire;
desperate for your loving touch,
i become insane with desire.
Jealousy is the fiendish creature
that lives inside my chest
and when it rears its ugly head
my heart can never rest.
Please, i'm begging you,
the one i used to hold so near
please, please come back to me...
I love you, my dear.
In a list
Please be as honest as possible, but not to the point where you're just cruel. Be fair, and thanks!
Comments
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This was a beautifully painted poem. I loved the vocabulary that was intermediate at some points, and simplistic at others. You have good words like "fiendish" instead of "mean etc", and then you have "ugly" that can be much better portrayed as "revolting" or "horrid". Just a tip, but then again every poet has his/her own style. I personally loved the flow and everything on it. The style was very moving and it was such an emotional piece! All in all this is one of the best poems i've read tonight. Great job! and keep up the amazing work!
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