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Playing Dolls

Cut me open you'll find I'm not whole
Just a stupid wooden puppet with no ordinary goal
"I wanna be a real boy!" Screw those classic lines
"I wanna make you happy!" Why don't you give it a try?
Stitch me up perfectly so you can't see the scars
Trace me with pen so you don't leave a mark
Give me a name and cut off my strings
But you'll soon find I still cannot breath

Look into my eyes, what do you see?
not a little girl with a child-like dream
Reality, drugs, the lies, the deciet
I may not know them but they sure know me
So stitch me up perfect, like a little barbie doll
So you can package me up and sell at the mall
Trace me with pen so you don't leave a mark
Cover me with paint if you find a stray scar

Pretty soon you'll see what I always saw
See the imperfection, the limitless flaws
See the hate, the limitless fear
See that I won't shed a tear
So when you're gone, I find I'm alone
I'll rip out the stitches and pretty paint coat
And look in the mirror and stare into
The nothingness i found in you

Author notes

Neeeehh, might edit this later, lol

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • LittleMoon silver member
    March 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on the gold, very worthy of it too. A very good write and a nice blend with the picture prompt.


  • Rose Dark Thorn silver member
    February 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "But you'll soon find I still cannot breath"

    You mean breathe.

    Your flow with the rhyme is absolutely flawless up until your last two lines. If you are going to edit this, that is the only thing you really need to change in my opinion.

    I love the idea in this poem. At first, I thought it wouldn't fit what I wanted at all from this contest, but I was clearly misjudging. This is unique in its own way, and I like your wording and style.

    I think the idea of someone unable to accept this girl for what she is and trying to make her into something she's not is just brilliant. It reminds me of myself in ways.

    Thank you for entering.


    • Cr187
      February 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks! lol, wow didn't expect gold, and yeah, i will edit those last two lines and the spelling error. Your contest was hard! I had to think for a long time of what i wanted to write and then I just started writing and she became a doll, lol.

1 - 5 of 5