Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Lacerations

Missing image

 

Lacerations encompass this body,
Taking from it the will to carry on,
Not knowing when things could get better,
Deeply hurting,
The inadequacy seeping through the gaps.

No longer one person,
Body not one's own,
All hope; dashed,
Life slowly encouraged;
Down the route one promised not to go.

Taken over, no longer here,
Let me fade into the background,
Mortality a distant ebb,
Take me from this world,
Let me see what exists beyond.

 

Author notes

Great prompt.
Image aquired from the internet by Rose Dark Thorn

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Rose Dark Thorn silver member
    February 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What I am seeing from your writing is that she feels hopelessness and lifelessness due to the cuts on her body. What I was hoping for is that people would look into the picture and see that perhaps those cuts are not on her flesh, but maybe on her mentality, her spirit.

    Other than that, your piece is worded well with lovely flow. It speaks volumes of a desolate place where many have gone and some have not escaped. It is a place I have been to often and always wish to never have to be there at all, because it is so difficult to get out.

    Thank you for your entry.


  • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
    February 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very dark.
    Well written


  • DestiniesTwined
    February 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is so good and sad. It's very deep. The words are so easy to relate to. I wish you much luck in the contest.


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    February 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is all i say and feel when I read your words, understood each one and related to each one ----->