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The Flag

Red white and blue,
what do these colors mean to you?
lets start with Red
the color of bloodshed during a freedom war
independence gained and much more

White usually means surrender,
something we did not do
allthough it is the color white,
the United States put up a fight
proving that we are strong
independence is not wrong

Blue, what does this color mean to you?
strength and strive,
what else is keeping our nation alive?
pulling together in tough times
helping each other out
following your heart
these are the reasons
our nation doesn't fall apart

Copyright Amy Lynn Rowsell 2005, 2007, 2008

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • Butterfly Kissed
    July 10

    Edit | Reply
    It was an okay poem. I liked the imagery but I don't know,.. I just wanted it to have more depth and I was looking for something a bit more when you were describing the colors.

  • Talking Toni gold member
    July 8

    Edit | Reply

    Great SHow Of Pride!!!!!!

    Exellent show of pride, with a great use of vocabulary and the rhymes were impeccable. Love the show of patriotism here!!! Thanks for your entry and the best of luck in my contest!!!!~~Toni~~


  • Professor Klosett
    July 3
    Edit | Reply
    Ugh.

    • AmyPixiDust
      July 3
      Edit | Reply
      could you exspand on your comment a little more? good? bad? please let me know what you think, ~Amy

      • Professor Klosett
        July 26
        Edit | Reply
        When I said, "Ugh", I was expressing utter repulsion at the sloppy mawkishness of this. I hope you are happy now.

  • Kathleen a Nazarene
    July 1

    Edit | Reply

    Nice job!

    Good descriptive write about our flag. You sure got the meaning of the colors right & the sentiments that are fitting for the US of A! Glad you won a trophy. It was deserved.


  • DavidTennantRocks silver member
    June 26

    Edit | Reply
    This is a cool poem. I am not patriotic or nothing. I liked the imagery. I enjoyed the read! Thank you for entering my contest.

  • camo.egg.army.gurl
    June 15
    Edit | Reply
    wow this was great...loved the imagry
    good luck in my contest

  • Rianna Bear silver member
    May 20

    Edit | Reply
    this was awesome! great dedication to our U.S. of A!!! the color meanings were dead on! i think the white as more of always a blank slate ready to always be something new, different, and willing to be that blank canvas for all its citizens...though, bush has made that very hard.

    good one!!

    rianna


  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    May 14

    Edit | Reply
    This is a lovely poem. The thing I liked the most is the innocese in the writing. Not the poem itself, but the person behind this words.

    You done really well!
    Thank you for entering my contest!

    All the best!
    Becks

  • Pollycheck silver member
    April 7

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering my military contest. I really like this poem, but I have a couple of grammatical suggestions that you can either take or leave.

    Red white and Blue, - Red white and blue,

    what does these colors mean to you? - what do these colors mean to you?

    lets start with Red - let's start with Red

    independence gain and much more =- independence gained and much more

    White it usually means surrender, - White usually means surrender,

    helping eachother out - helping each other out


  • zt
    March 13

    Edit | Reply
    As you have asked me to comment on your work, I shall assume that you are looking for more than just ego stroking. With that in mind, I liked the ideas that you presented in this poem. These are your words and they describe how you see the flag. At least, I hope that is the case for your symbolism doesn't match the historical symbolism. George Washington quoted as saying: "We take the stars from Heaven, the red from our mother country, separating it by white stripes, thus showing that we have separated from her, and the white stripes shall go down to posterity representing Liberty."

    Getting back to your poem, I think that the piece was not helped by the changing rhyme in each stanza (aabcc, abccdd, abbcded). The changing rhythm emphasized the odd rhyme and gave the impression that you forced the it when, in fact, the rhymes themselves supported each other. I think your best bet would be to forego the rhyme altogether and make this more of a prose piece as it seemed heartfelt and even passionate. I hope this makes some sense and wasmaybe even was helpful.

  • Midnight-x-Rose
    March 10

    Edit | Reply
    Such a very interesting piece...the colour contrast majorly hurts my eyes... like, nearly epileptic (dont' worry, I'm not lol). Nice though, I like the way you work the colours in with their descriptions.

  • Immortal Obscurity silver member
    February 29

    Edit | Reply
    Hmmm... Pretty good! I'm glad you feel so strongly about your country... I'm a very patriotic Canadian myself, so I understand it's a great thing to have a country you're proud of. Well done, and good luck!

    Laura xxx

  • Angel-Crestfallen
    February 28
    Edit | Reply

    Very nice

    It was a very powerfull poem Well Done

    ps lol the flag doesn't mean anything to me I am from South Africa but the peom tells all about it

    Well Done


  • TizMoi
    February 28
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for entering. This is really very well written and your national pride shines throughout. Good luck in the contest.


  • Doggy Lover
    February 27
    Edit | Reply
    i like this one! it's pretty good!

  • camo.egg.army.gurl
    February 26
    Edit | Reply
    nicely written...

1 - 19 of 19