In honour of our two hearts' connection
I etched a mark,
chalk-white;
The outlined silhouette of our shadows.
They now await you,
Your light
And your endless constellation of skies
In flame.
You cast a solar warmth upon my dark coat,
To illuminate the folds
Unbending,
Which still engulf my heart's grey flesh
And prayers for you,
Extending
Beyond the first flush and climax of longing,
To here.
Yet lost to oblivion, there remains rapture
In each new mourning,
Which adheres,
Spun and woven in translucent joy
As textured waterfalls
Of tears,
And I am cloaked by this endless shawl of want
Again.
Author notes
Love lives on in ghostly guise...
A contest entry
- Give me your 100th poem by Loveandblessings2u.
975 points, ended March 16, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ghosts by Quill.
1750 points, ended July 16, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Moving On by Beautyfull-x-Angel.
650 points, ended March 26, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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this is an amazing write keep p the hreat work best wishes and good luck in the contest
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"Love lives on in ghostly guise..."
So true my talented friend
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I really like this poem, the imagery is wonderfully crafted and the rhyme adds so much by being subtle
my favorite part was the chalk drawing - brilliant in regards to the theme of loss thank you for entering!
Keep writing
Polly
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this is so not my type,
but to be honest, I really liked it.
believe me I even find that hard to believe.
Good luck in the contest.
loveandblessings2u & yours always
Joyce
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Thanks, it means a lot to know you liked it even if it's not the sort of thing you would normally enjoy. I accept that poems about the grief, mourning and loss of a soulmate are not everyone's 'cup of tea'!!
But that sharing is a big part of why we're all on here I guess, so I appreciate it.
Take care, and thanks again.
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wow
i really liked it it was creepy good and a great write. i love it. -
Definitely leaves a disturbing, somewhat nervous feeling in my heart...and that is something that a poem should always be able to do. Make one think...make one feel...
Dark and sad, well written to be sure. very good use of imagery! Bravo!
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not bad at all. i enjoyed it very much. thank you for the post.
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A notably sad piece with outstanding imagery throughout that others have commented on. I offer you my noiseless clappers
Donald
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A very dreamlike piece--I loved the imagery; it's fantastic. And I love the emotion tied into it, and the format of this poem. Awesome job!
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awesome....! love the imagery that was used. really helps to paint a picture in the mind's eye. well done!
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really interesting! some of the images really stuck out "heart's grey flesh" had a tangible, disturbing quality. i loved the juxtaposition of "dark coat" against "spun and woven in translucent joy", you capture the lightness and elusiveness of joy, as opposed to the wanting that feels so much heavier and darker. great job
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hey this is great....
LOVED
I etched a mark,
chalk-white;
And your endless constellation of skies
In flame.
You cast a solar warmth upon my dark coat,
To illuminate the folds
Beyond the first flush and climax of longing
To here.
Yet lost to oblivion, there remains rapture
In each new mourning,
And I am cloaked by this endless shawl of want
Again.
was a really nice click, have been writing a lot lately- and havent been reading many new poets-sometimes i go to town on the features box but havent for a while, thought i should just have a quick look, read the title actually i thought it was going to be bad and sentimental, but was greatly surprised
Thanks
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