Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Cicadas

Thousands, millions of crystalline cicadas
humming, buzzing in unison

nibbling upon her leaves:
the tree of life

wait not until they bite
for they already feast

her pristine emerald leaves
her divine budding branches

forced into their gaping jaws
halfway down their gagging throats

deep, in the blackened crevasses
of this once tender sapling

they brood;
their veiny transparent wings

the only flickering of light
through the dust that has settled

upon the obsidian oozing gouges
squirming bodies of these insects; create

foul probing armored legs
tear deeper into her delicate flesh

her once broad shoulders
now caped in a deafening coat of foul vermin

gnawing deep into her sticky marrow
stuck deep into life's own, make-shift matter

these vile creatures: her own cicadas
will survive upon her ring'ed trunk; for eternity

Author notes

Yet again... My prose... And rants about how horrible we have made the earth.

Either love it or hate it =D

Critique is always welcome....

In a list

A contest entry

Be honest here.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 22 of 22

  • etoile
    July 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    woahh
    the imagery in this is fantastic
    it really painted quite a picture..not a very nice picture, but still a picture. haha
    this is really good.!


  • loveisfreedom
    July 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    nice

    it drew an immaculate picture right on keep it up.


  • Evinde
    July 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow... You firts descibre the cicadas as crystalline, nibbling beings, and they slowly turn on their source of life and devour her... It makes me think about the human race and our affect on the earth. I loved this one overy much, a swirl of darkness to it all, just a beautiful piece. Best of luck!


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    May 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    beautiful prose and style!

    truly all the essences of a well structured and
    vivid poem....the ache of our earth, the loss of her
    loins.
    well done!
    ears/Seattle


  • Re-invention silver member
    May 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    great way to picture the waste of earth.. i really enjoyed it for it has a touch of darkness twined in it... which is something I like.. good luck!


  • Sandra R Reynolds gold member
    May 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Diffently enjoyed reading this. Has so much to say. Your flow and imagery is great. Best to you in the contest.


  • Somebody-New
    April 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow the imagery in this is amazing!
    great use of metaphore and your flow is brilliant
    i am definitely in the 'love it' category.
    and also, thanks heaps for your comment on my poem


  • 2lullabyhaven
    March 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The earth can't be happy, I do agree thanks for your entry


  • Silenced-Shadow
    March 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is a beautiful poem, the imagry in it and the way you used the images to set your point more firmly in the readers mind, a very vivid poem well done


  • Exit-Stage-Right
    March 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love this as a poem of cicadas on a tree. As to the metaphorical aspects: "how horrible we have made the earth" well, I rather disagree. That there are local spots of pollution, yes, some rather large ones especially in Eastern Europe, yes... but on the whole the earth is still pretty pristine. I fly a lot... see the earth from above. When I'm not flying I'm often driving through large tracts of forested wilderness in the Midwest. The earth is FAR from a ruined planet. It's easy to get the wrong impression when watching Greenpeace movies, because all they're showing you is the bad. They tell you how many acres of rainforest we're cutting down without telling you how many we're replanting. There is money in gloom, none in optimism, it seems.

  • cloudenvy
    March 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love the description; you paint a clear but vivid picture. The lines flow perfectly, and you are a master of imagery. I have nothing bad to say.


  • Creatress
    March 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    yes! all this concrete suffocating my mama! So appreciated the message here!

    Wonderful poetry!

    Creatress


    • Exit-Stage-Right
      March 8, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Hey Creatress!

      Re: your comment "yes! all this concrete suffocating my mama!" on perception's Cicadas poem. I was wondering if you had ever considered it from THIS perspective>? If concrete is suffocating her, what exactly is the Grand Canyon doing to her? It's all rock as well!


  • Allura
    March 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The title realy fooled me. I remembered me of a yaoi storie calld "Winter Cicadas", that i absolutly love.

    But this poem, Damm!
    You are good, very good.
    The perfect flow, emotion the descriptive words you made me visualize the scenes like a movie.

    Darkness, always attracts me, like a moth to a flame.
    And this flame, she shines.

    Blessed Be

    Allura


  • cognitivedistortion
    February 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Cicadas always remind of Florida, for some reason. I didn't get at first that the cicada also referred to something else, but I picked up on it where your said 'the tree of life'. It's a very different piece, but its always best to be with poetry and art. Loved the style.

  • davidwright silver member
    February 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    An interesting write about life polluted by the Cicada bug. I heard them once in Silver City, New Mexico. The noise is ferocious. Well done neighbor and happy trails


  • IorganicInsight
    February 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    bravo!
    i've finally found someone my age who doesn't write about the obvious.
    i love how you used cicadas to represent society; great job!


  • Elenaliz
    February 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    love it,its very interesting.i like cicadas this makes me look at them in a different way and even though this is just about cicadas it has kinda a horror movie type of feel to it.i really like it.

  • avendesora
    February 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    you have really good imagery. ugh i hate cicadas. actually for the most part i hate bugs in general, but i especially love this last stanza where the image you are using transcends the original picture i see. we are the bugs, ravaging earth. and thanks to our destruction we will survive longer than she does. but if we are not careful, we won't survive her for long.


  • Mat Larkin
    February 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    nice work..

    good use of metaphor and visuals.. sound effort, but a bit dark for me personally... Mat


  • IrishGypsyRose silver member
    February 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    interesting

    great imigary of a part of nature i truly enjoyed it. great write

  • crystylheart
    February 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i really like the choice of extended metaphor you have here. it really fits the subject well, nice job!

1 - 22 of 22