I'm blazing in the shadows of love.
My regurgitation reeks of human feces.
Motherfucking thesis of a million pieces
of wasted time.
Asinine bitches lacking depth of mind.
Shallow brains of insane trains
of thought that border on just
plain old stupid.
Yes I said it cupid,
kiss my ass and take your time.
Do it slowly like you're
sipping a fine vintage wine.
I'm fed up with your promises
of bliss from an odorless mist.
Coopertone scrappings of napalm
fragments infiltrating my psycho
synthesis of dementia.
You're a motherfucking liar!!!
You're a motherfucking liar!!!
Shut the fuck up.
Stop whispering in my ear
things I always want to hear.
Delusions of mass confusion.
Distorted fantasies that take
me on a ride inside these
shitless dreams.
I want to scream!!!!!
Give me a beat and suck my meat.
Lick my ass and kiss my feet.
Oh so sweet you bizzare lying
little twit called love.
I'm fucking through man.
Don't you ever ever
bother me no more!
You fucking self-serving whore!
Listen...
Listen..
Listen.
Author notes
Hello everyone.
In this piece I'm trying to show
the intense anger of a betrayed lover.
As you can see it's expressed
with extreme rage and vulgarity.
I know reading it maybe a little
harsh but I wanted to capture the
raw feelings of a person whose totally
pissed with the whole notion of love.
Try and reflect on your most lowest
moment when you felt like a complete
fool after being betrayed by a lover.
Hope you can appreciate the sensitivity
of the situation.
Thanks,darell
A contest entry
- Fire of your mind by DestiniesTwined.
900 points, ended March 13, 2008, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Thanks for entering this into my contest. You did a fantastic job on this. I wish you much luck in the contest.
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Nicely Done
Well you expressed it. LOL. For a moment there I thought this was something you were going through at the moment. Glad to see it's not so. Really great piece. I enjoyed it. Good luck in the contest. - cgirl0410
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This is intense! Not much room for misinterpretation here.. I likd it though, I love the rawness of it. Makes a interesting change from too much prissy poetry.
I'm glad you put your Author note in, as by the end the poem I thought you'd lost it!
I have to admit though I laughed at this: "Oh so sweet you bizzare lying
little twit called love." The use of the gentle English word 'twit' is just great. Not sure whether you meant to lighten the mood there, but from an English point of view it IS funny.
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I actually thought that the vulgarity added a sense of realism and intensity to this piece. I think that you truly penned something extravagant here... full of so much passion and personality... I think this was outstanding. Not that you should need it but good luck in the contest.
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Well You did make .................
your point. ANd loud and clea at that. I can feel your intense anger at the betrayal from your lover. I hope the anger subsides and you will one day open your heart to another true love that come down the road in time. Great write!!!~~Toni~~
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HECKK YESS
I can really feel the anger you write of!! The words create vividly intense and harsh images. Super well done!
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Yes indeed....been here and your harsh analogy of love in it's most bitter aspect is well done! Sometimes the truth is harsh....kudos for having the courage to pen it with such dramatic flair!
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WOw it good, but im sorry about what happened
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Well my friend I think that you did a good job with this piece thank you for sharing your heart and talent much love always
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BRAVO!!!
I love it! Reading this was intense, but I loved every minute of it. The best rhyme I've read in a while, too!! Great expression of pissedoffness!
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