Sitting over there with your destroying grin
Just smirking trying to rub it in
You ruining us, can't you see?
The little smile just happens to be
Destroying us, killing us all
Every time we see it, we stumble and fall
The feelings hurt, the tears that were shed
The torment, through day and into bed
And all you do is just sit there and grin
Seeing, and knowing, you're rubbing it in
Author notes
This smile could belong to anyone. Everybody has someone annoying them at this point.
yoster toaster
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Wow, I didn't get that it rhymed until I finished and glanced back at a stanza. Wow, my skill is overwhelming Good poem, once you realize it rhymes and before too!
Later Love&Peace Out Cub Scout?!
Natalie -
I think the backgrounds fine (its just you Carrie
I really like this and I DO know who you are now (Carrie told me) *dances* Anyways...I like the rhyming and the whole thing flows very well.
Katriney likey (love stole that from me) -
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haha thanks for the comment!
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I like the rhymes. They seem very natural. It has a good message too. The background is just a little bit hard to read though, or maybe it's just me.
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weeeee, freaky!
just one critique: in the 2nd to last stanza i think you might want to get rid of the "the anger" bit - it will read better if it is like this:
"The feelings hurt, the tears that were shed
The torment, through day and into bed"
just a thot, tho. this is good, lovey likey!
luv,
lovey
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first off, sickly awesome icon you have! second, yes I should fix that good idea. I shall do-eth just that.
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