You vowed that you loved me
You swore you'd always be there
You promised you'd never hurt me
You told me that you'd never lie
You wanted me to trust you
You I gave my heart to
You had all my trust
You were the person i could talk to
You wrer more than my boyfriend
You were my best friend
You broke my heart into a million pieces
You said you were changing
You didnt feel the same way
You lied about everything
You never loved me...
Author notes
Erick... again
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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wow this is very good! you described the relationship really well and included the good to start us off and inform us, then the bad to ane it and tell what happened. very well done . i love it!
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ah, now i see why you entitled this "you"! this was a brilliant poem! stunning piece i have to say... i love your descriptions... lovely piece, tho its was pretty sad! keep penning kays!
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You were right.
You said you couldn't stay mad at anyone. This piece shows what happened in a more subdued way compared to the piece on love. There is hurt there but sort of at a distance. The ending line is good and sums it up pretty well. This tells whats happening but maybe you could put in what you were feeling as it happened. Like for the line " You broke my heart into a million pieces." of course it shows sadness but describe what you were feeling inside. If you decide to put in more details or examples it would have to be done in 2 or 3 more areas of the piece. Or it could stay as is for a more distant effect. Anyway, thanks for writing a new version.
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