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The Incoming Tide

Floppy white hats,
button mushrooms
in damp golden sands.
Young architects
concentrating,
shaping,
compressing,
impressing;
building
castles of
dreams.
The incoming
tide rolls in,
sand and dreams crumble.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Sarah957
    February 27, 2008

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    Very nice! I love the images that you paint of a beautiful beach full of tourists... the part where the sand and dreams crumble makes me think of how so often in life you plan for something (like a vacation) and expect it to be perfect and then life interrupts with its own plans!

    Awesome poem, a true pleasure to read


  • aboomer silver member
    February 27, 2008

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    Great wording and images! And I like the depth which states that even though we all build and shape, sometimes just to impress, life can still cause it all to collapse or disappear. But then, I'd say - it gives us another chance to start over and maybe improve.....but I'm rambling...lol
    Nice job!
    good luck in the contest.


  • wbiro gold member
    February 25, 2008

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    I'll bet this is a part of your "Lives of the Waves" series... I can see the first piece... "We began life in the mid-Atlantic as gentle swells under a cloudless sky..."


  • HopelessScribbles gold member
    February 25, 2008
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    yes this is wonderfully written and neat to read, relaxing and very creative, thank you for this entry, good luck...Moons


    • Storic
      February 25, 2008
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      Thank you MoonsShadow

      I wasn't sure whether this poem really fitted your catagory, but thought I would give it a go anyway. :-)


  • poeticweaver gold member
    February 25, 2008

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    Good,

    I liked this, easy form and flow,
    and it rolls off the tongue nice while being read aloud.
    Thanks for sharing.

    -Tim

    • Storic
      February 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks Tim

      My poetic muse is creaking slowly back to life - er I hope. :-)

      Thank you for taking the time to comment. It was much appreciated.

1 - 7 of 7