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Average Princess

She sits right there
She stares into nowhere
Just a beaten lil girl
Detached from the world

Her pretty blood red lips
Whisper words you can't hear
Her stunning bright blue eyes
Are frozen, glazed with fear

Chorus:
She's just your, just your
Average lil princess
Have you forgotten her?
This average princess
Locked in a fairytale

See her golden hair
Down the side of her tower
Frozen in time
Her prince forgot her

Sleeping beauty
Pricked her lil finger
She's waiting for you
But time has hidden her

Chorus:
She's just your, just your
Average lil princess
Have you forgotten her?
This average princess
Locked in a fairytale

Oh how we all wish
For years to be you
Then you're forgotten
Trapped inside a book

Just an average princess
An average, so average
We're all gonna forget about
That average princess
The average lil princess
Locked in her fairytale
Average, Average

A contest entry

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Comments


  • morgan2285
    July 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    OMG! this is REALLY good! I love the first, second and fourth stanzas the best! They all have so much beautiful imagery, your words become a picture to the readers. I love the part about her prince forgetting her, it just makes the poem so much more sad and gives it a lot of its mood. So was it supposed to be a song? and if so what genre were you going for?


  • Shassidy
    June 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really like this piece! I like the flow, imagery, and the references used in this, it makes the piece powerful. The references that you used in this (like in stanzas 4 and 5, Rapunzel and Sleeping Beauty) worked really well because it helps the reader identify the piece with something they know, and in some cases, hold dear. As for the imagery, I love the descriptions in stanza two because they stand out and they are really well written. I'd have to say that my favorite parts of this are stanzas 2, 4, and 5 because of the wonderful references and imagery. The ending was not as strong as the aforementioned stanzas, so I think it could use a bit of work and re-wording, but keep working at it and it'll be really great. The title of this is really great because usually we think of princesses as special, glamorous people, but this title kind of cancels that all out, it's a paradox and it really works to pull in the reader. Overall, great job and good luck in the contest!


  • z etoile
    February 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Ooh I liked this poem... really cool