A door and a World between us

i can hear them outside my door
they're laughing, playing
but they don't talk to me
they just walk on past
like i'm not there
like they can't hear my music playing
or they didn't see me come in
when i'm with them we have fun
but if i'm in my room i don't exist
they only knock when they want something
even then they don't invite me
i thought i'd feel like a group
that i would leave the years of lonliness behind
but i'm still me, still awkward, still alone
people know me, people like me but they don't include me
is something wrong with me?
am i not fun to be around?
as a child no one got me
but now i'm an adult surely it's more simple
i know i've changed
i'm not the same person i was
i'm more confident, happier
so why am i always left in the same situation?
why am i relegated to the sidelines?
why does no one think of me?
it may seem selfish
but i give so much of myself
and never get anything in return
it's so tiring to always be the one
to make the effort
to knock on the doors
i just want to be thought of
just once
to have them be thge ones knocking for friendship.