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Snow Drifts (triquain)

                     
White snow pile
Lightly filtered powder
Fluffy layers reflecting brilliance
Flakey cold spirals swirling in oblivion
Ice fragments of whipping disarray
Sweeping columns drifted
God’s sculpture 



     

Author notes

I usually don't do structured poetry but this is my first attempt at a triquain form. Let me know what you think.

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • RatherImaginative silver member
    March 3, 2008

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    I enjoy these kinds of forms for the challenge they present. I wouldn't have been able to tell this was a first attempt, for your poem is very well formed (much better than a couple of my first attempts ). But be warned: they tend to be addictive!


    • ckwriter69
      March 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for reading and commenting. Yeah it was fun and I think I'm all ready addicted haha. Always appreciate hearing from you.

  • Bob 42 silver member
    March 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Good job

    I have never seen this form before and I like it.
    A beautiful way to look at something most people curse,
    shovel in hand.

    • ckwriter69
      March 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Bob this was fun to write, I'll definately have to do some more. Appreciate you reading and commenting. Thanks again.


  • Scandalous Beauty
    February 28, 2008

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    This is very beautiful Charley. Different from your usual but it's nice. hehe. You should be familular with snow by now.

    Love Guin

    • ckwriter69
      February 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Guin for reading and commenting, I really appreciate it. Yeah it is different from my usual. Thanks again.


  • Angels Whispers gold member
    February 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    great work

    Hi there Charley,
    just finished reading your poem,strange to see you writting a structured poem, in the form of a triquain.I have never learnt to do that, just recently I learnt how to write a rictameter, I have a lot of trouble counting the syllables lol.
    Any way enough of my dribble talk...I like what I have read, and it being your first attempt, well Ck you have done extemely well. The story told within your writen words is loud and clear and the visuals are awesome, one can almost feel the cold!!!
    Excellent work my friend.
    Take care and many blessings to you.
    Angel.

    • ckwriter69
      February 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Angel for reading and commenting. I always appreciate hearing from you. I enjoyed working on this form it was fun and challenging.
      lot of love,
      Charley


  • Cynthia
    February 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!
    CK, you did a great job with this my friend.
    But, I despise that word, the structure is wrong.
    First line and last lines are fine though.
    Starts off with 3 syllables, ends with 3 syllables.
    If you need some help, let me know.

    So beautifully penned though.
    I truly enjoyed reading this.
    Thank you.
    Keep up with the great work.
    Keep on penning.
    Thank you so very much for sharing.
    *S* Cynthia

    • ckwriter69
      February 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Cynthia for reading and commenting. I must have counted wrong on my syllables? 3,6,9,12,9,6,3? It looks right to me? IM with what's wrong I would appreciate it. whoops okay I changed the second line, I did only have 5 on that one but according to my dictionary the rest should be correct.

1 - 10 of 10