You haunt me,
Your voice surrounds
my mind
You fill me,
Your heat delves
beyond my depths
You take me
past the stars
where silence is broken only by my sobs,
... as I splinter
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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There is a nice feeling to this that is warm and sensual. I like the way this unfolds and the last two lines really make this sing. Great job.
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Interesting write here, the first 8 lines clearly take the path of passion but then the last two lines lead me to think otherwise. That said I loved your economy of words.
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Rich with emotion
I especially love the form on the page. The irregular lines seem to evoke some sense of emotion as well. I especially enjoy the second stanza -- "delves beyond my depths" -- a very powerful thought. The "silence is broken only by my sobs" doesn't seem to be as uplifting as I might hope. But I'm most delighted to see you writing again. Thank you, Mac
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purchase by giving...
22 centuries later and now it's easier to admire how one breaks off into pieces and finds pleasure in obliteration. smooth finish on the overall bench mark phrasing, Mary Ann. ~ EZB
www.moodgroove.com
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i see you're writing again!
this one is quite deep in it's scope...
somehow i'm not sure how to understand it...
mike
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Emotional Overload
So many times we wish we would of done this, or should of done that. How we long for another who understands us, and wants to heal all shattered pieces of our inner soul. You express yourself well within your perfectly vivid portraits of words. well verse. please pen on friend, and know I'm here for you always, as much as I'm able to be.
-Timothy xo
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Ah..my sweet friend...this poem is not filled with pain..instead it is actually filled with pleasure.
Warm hugs and thank you for reading me.
Mary Ann
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