it's the way your lips
trickle
down my cheek
like saltwater, healing
with dry humour
as it slowly
burns;
my lips must be
vinegar.
In a list
A contest entry
- overnight contest. by layla..
525 points, ended February 25, 2008, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites Mania by Celticmoon.
450 points, ended March 30, 2008, 84 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
I thought that last word was vulgar, not vinegar. Both work. & yeah. You have a lip fetish. Freak. haha
-
-
haha, I know! I have no idea why, but my shorties without direct prompt had to do with lips. so weird.
-
-
Commentary
Precision would be the apt word I'd use in this modern abstract kind of write. Crisp and full of images. keep penning -
Wow. This is amazing. I'm surprised you didn't get a gold or silver for this in what decency's contest. Really beautiful work.
-
Amazing
-
Hiya sweety
It's been ages since I've seen you on here, or when you posted something as well! I hope you're doing great hunny
This is a short, but very beautiful poem that you have written here. Great use of metaphor and imagery, like I'm used to from you
-
hmm this is beautiful and simple. sensual and perfect. i loved it. thanks for your entry!
-
the imagery here is all about feelings showing the reader relief, pain, tension, hope...wonderful depth and brevity...very well done...PK
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
